Sunday, June 13, 2010

Being a woman makes for a very thoughtful day

  Today has been an amazing day and i cant believe just how well it has gone by. I must admit though that it seems like my mind has been elsewhere. I dont know if its the extra hormones racing through my body talking or just my own thoughts, but it seems ive been thinking about a lot lately.
    I found myself waking up to Him snuggling beside me. I love waking up to seeing Him smiling down at me. It seemed to me that today was going to be another awesome day! We snuggled together because after the past couple days of running around, the only running around that was going to be done was going to lunch with family and picking up my medicine. That was it because we had done so much running around. I woke up and for some reason, despite being a little more hormonal then usual, i seemed hyper. I took a shower and it felt good actually. After last night, i was proud to see that i hadnt gained any weight as well. I'm not usually concerned about my weight, but for some reason i have become a little more self conscious about it lately.
    The next part of our day began with us heading out to grab some lunch with the family. Its a little thing that is done every week and im glad because i love hanging out with them because they make the two of us laugh. It was hilarious because at one point during lunch, His brother's girl told His brother "yes, Master" to something he had said. He busted out laughing, although it wasnt like extreme laughter but He was laughing at this comment and the two of them couldnt even begin to figure out why He was laughing. I found it hilarious, but i kept a straight face not wanting to give anything away. All i could do was look over at Him a couple times and smile thinking "if they only knew".
    After lunch, we thanked his grandpa who paid and headed back home. It was a yummy lunch and i was stuffed to the extreme. It was crazy because i was in the munchy mood, but i was also full. I hate this time of the month because it makes me crave weird things and act so weird. I find myself thinking on things more then usual or i find myself getting frustrated or upset easier. In all honesty, if He hadnt been in the car last night i possibly would have been spouting off some not so nice or pretty words for a lady to say. I have somewhat of a temper on me (runs in my family that we have big tempers) and i was highly upset at how close the cars were getting. Well anyways...we got home and relaxed.
    I found myself in a thoughtful mood this afternoon and i didnt really know why. It was like i had a sudden craving to look up more about the lifestyle and learn more. I didnt think that i was doing well or that i was keeping Him happy enough. He had been quiet and was laying there watching tv. For me, when He gets quiet it scares me in all honesty because it makes me feel like im in trouble or i've done something wrong. I asked Him quite a few times to make sure He was feeling okay or that He was okay in general and both times i was told that He was fine. To me, i felt that maybe i had done something wrong and that He was just being quiet to take some time to think. I get real self conscious sometimes and i'm wondering if my extra hormones have more to do with it now. Who knows, but it was crazy that i found myself with these mixture of feelings earlier today.
     Before too long, the computer was shut on me. I guess this was His way of telling me to get off the computer, by simply shutting it and pulling me closer to Him. I like snuggling with Him, especially around this time because it totally reassures me that im still loved. I am not normally one that is so self-conscious but for some reason these past couple days i have found myself thinking i wasnt doing anything well enough or i wasnt doing something right. I was trying to do my best and not argue or anything, but i felt i was messing up on this simple thing to do. It was amazing though as He pulled me close to Him because we snuggled together. I love snuggling with Him no matter what because either way im close and right next to Him.
    As we were snuggling, He happened to be flipping through the channels and found a movie coming on that i hadnt seen in years (probably since i was like 8 or 9). 101 Dalmations was coming on and what can i say, im a big Disney kid. It was all i was really able to watch growing up anyways. I was what you'd call a sheltered child growing up. It was amazing watching it and the two of us laughed at it. I cant believe that even after all the years since ive seen it that i still remembered the names of the dogs---Dipstick, Pongo, Perdita, Lucky...Wow weird, even when i name them here.
   Things in the afternoon got a little bit heated when i found my hand travelling to his shorts. I cant believe that i am comfortable enough to massage Him, but then again He has brought me so far out of my shell that i dont really recognize the girl that i used to be anymore. I love the changes...but anyways back to this afternoon. After a few minutes of my hand playing with Him, i found myself being place in a position to use my mouth. I still cant believe how much i like doing this for Him, but i know it feels good to Him and brings pleasure to Him. I was doing the best i could but before too long, He moved me to where i was laying on my back and He was able to control how i pleasured Himself with my mouth. I honestly like when this happens for some reason, it makes me feel that much more helpless knowing i cant move away and that He is getting pleasure out of it. It was amazing the reaction i had (and still cant believe that both times i have been asked this how i responded) when He asked me if i wanted my Master's cum. It was like i craved it and wanted it and all i could do was shake my head as big as could be "yes" that i wanted it. It was like i needed to have it and i got it after a couple seconds. He asked me before i was able to taste His cum if His slut wanted His cum and i found myself nodding my head strongly "yes" yet again. These reactions really do surprise me.
    After that, i found myself on the brink of coming close to an orgasm for the second time. He had been playing with me off and on all day and within a few minutes i was allowed to cum. I had to beg for it first though, but it felt so amazing. I have to admit though that i dont know if it is the extra hormones for right now or not, but i feel so much more aroused then usual. It's like i couldnt get enough of His touch earlier, but between Him being sick before and then i started my period, it seems that i havent felt His touch in a little while. Im not totally sure because this is all new to me, but i love this urge and desire. It's like i cant get enough of Him and i need more. Is it just me or is this usual for this time? I just wish there was more i could do right now, but such is life. Ugh, the evilness of mother nature and her ill timing.
    On top of my craving for Him and His touch and just everything to do with that, i find myself with a huge craving for more knowledge. It's like i want more things to learn or a long session that goes on. I just cant figure out really what i want, but there's so many things that i want to try. They vary from wanting to try more of what its like to be gagged to more of being tied and helpless. I know some of these are variant on situations and times that they happen, but its like im craving something. I'm not sure what im craving, but im curious. Its like i want more, just dont know how to ask for it or even if i should ask for it. I'm new to this whole thing and not sure what is allowed and what isnt. I mean i know there is no such thing as a stupid or pointless question with Him because He encourages me to ask Him anything...its just i dont know about protocols on wanting to try more things and just that desire for more.
   I know lately my pain threshold has been increased from the past two spankings ive received. It seems that after them, my butt only stays sore for a day, maybe two tops. I crave learning something more about myself like what i learned from the spankings, but i dont think i am craving another spanking. They hurt like really bad, but at the same time i like them if that makes sense. I dont think i get turned on by the spankings, but its like i find myself learning something about myself and how much pain i can handle from them. I guess looking back on this, it makes me realize that what i crave is maybe learning something more about myself. I know that i must have patience, but with the lousiness from all these hormones in me, maybe learning something else about myself might help. I know im not the one that makes these types of decisions, but i know that He has a plan in His head on what He wants me to learn. I guess for now i get to work on learning patience---the hardest thing ever for me to learn.
       Today has been just a crazy day full of lots of thoughts and a curiosity that is burning even still. I find myself thinking that anything He does stops me from thinking on my cramps or just distracts me from the thoughts of im not good enough or doing things right. I wonder if ill learn anything between now and when mother nature decides to take away this curse. Oh well, such is life and if i have to im willing to wait, but i have to bet that i will be even more aroused between now and then or thats just all the extra hormones i have now creating that reaction in me like today. I cant wait to see whats in store tomorrow....meeting with the recruiter and He gets to meet part of my family. That should be interesting to talk about tomorrow. Until then, I need to find some tylenol and some sugar and curl up in a ball til these cramps disappear.

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