Thursday, October 14, 2010

A Harsh Lesson in Life is Sometimes Hard to Swallow

   Today it seems has dealt me a usual lesson in life and how to handle things. This morning was just the start to it to say the least. Before i start on that though, i have to admit something. Master is well aware of this and i think this is why He is so protective of me(aside from being protective of what's His as it is) is that i am the type of person that always wears my heart on my sleeve. It seems that this gets me into a lot of trouble and backed into a corner a lot of the times. I have honestly taken to heart what my Master told me about always being on my side of the fight no matter what. For the longest time in my life, i have always had to fight tooth and nail for everything i have had and against everyone with nobody on my side. For the first time in my life, i finally have someone who is wholely there to say that they have my back and no matter will always be by my side. My parents swore that, but it wasnt before long that they didnt agree with some choices made that they turned sides on me....kind of goes with how our relationship is, but that's a whole different discussion right there. He is the only person who has stuck by me and said "yeah i may not agree with your choices, but ill still back you up if it goes wrong". I love Him not just for that, but i love knowing that He is always there.
    So anyways, back to me wearing my heart on my sleeve and getting backed into corners. It happened this morning after we got back from our morning pt session. Which was excellent by the way. First time in a while that i have ever run the full distance and not thought of pain or anything. I was focused on everyone joking and doing jodies around me, which distracted me from the running. But and one of my roomies can run because we arent on any kind of waiver or anything. The other roomie cant run  because of something with her heart messed up a few weeks ago and the doctor's put her on a no pt waiver. We got done with the run and headed back to the dorms. I got up to the room and my other roomie wasnt too far behind. She came in and turned the ac off saying "im cold and its freezing in here" after i asked her what she was doing. "Thats because you were standing outside in the cold while we all ran" is what i told her because i was hot as could be and turning off the air would make it worse. She gave me a reply back of how "im so tired of your bitching and complaining. It's always freezing in here because you keep setting the air to 60." To make a long story short, it went back and forth a couple more times, but i pretty much got told that i wasnt messing with the thermostat anymore.
   After this argument, well more me being told what i was goign to do with the thermostat, i had no clue what to do and didnt want to be too dramatic with it, but also didnt want to just pretend to sit there and take it. I called Master because He is the only person to calm me down, point me in the right direction, and also just offer advice. He knows there are times where i know what to do and times where i will have no clue and need a little more guidance. This morning He knew that i knew what to do and just provided me guidance telling me to do what i thought was best. I love that He knows when to prod me a little more with guidance and when to let me spread my wings a little bit and fly. Not to say that i'm always hiding under His wing, but He really does take care of me as His lil one in that aspect.
    So the day passed by normally for the rest of the day. It was full of the usual running here there and everywhere. We always run everywhere, which is why i think that i have such a high metabolism. I can eat anything i want really and eat as much as i want. Like yesterday and today for lunch i have eaten a full meal, a full bowl of peaches, cake, and another desert as well. Today i went a little lighter with grapes, full bowl of peaches, german chocolate cake, chicken, rice, eggroll, and green beans. I have never eaten so much or never been so hungry. It's crazy how i have such a high metabolism here, but He loves it. He doesnt care, but i think it's crazy how His lil one really is so little. Right now i keep losing more weight. Before long, i will be His really little lil one, lol. I love it though because it means im easier for Him to handle and pick up(although downside is if He were to pick me up and throw me over His shoulder because i weigh like nothing for Him).
     Anyways, we got to do vehicle searches and learn about how to direct traffic. I can honestly say that i hope i wont be doing the directing traffic because it takes multitasking to a whole new extreme. That right there takes talent because it is multitasking with a danger risk involved. I couldnt believe how crazy it was and i was only dealing with a 4 way intersection moving one lane at a time. I had a big rig coming at me and wasnt sure what to do. Thankfully the instructor was behind me telling me what to do and to go ahead and let the big rig just roll through. I made it through it though and none of us caused any accidents or got jerked out of the way.
    After that we sat around and did nothing and waited for what was like 2 hours for our MTL to come out and talk to us. During this time, our other instructor was just killing time. He kept checking our hair and everything else. To be honest, a good bit of us were frustrated that he was saying our hair looked like crap because we had been taking our hats off and on all day. Your hair would like that too if you had some to take a hat off and on. Besides that we cant use excessive gel in our hair to secure according to our rulebook. So, if He wants me to put more then what i already am, then im not following my rules and i could get in trouble. Lol, gotta love loopholes to that little law.
    Tomorrow should be another interesting day. We are learning how to talk on the should be fun. Hopefully its early even though we have shield, but then we will be dismissed cause there are people going to the movies. :D Hopefully then i can have my shells and cheese. Im craving it so bad right now, but its the usual time of the month random cravings. But who knows what tomorrow brings, i dont know with the ever changing schedule. Hopefully no girl drama, but i know if it happens that i am through backing down. I will stand my ground and i will make Him proud because i wont care what they think of me if i do because i am standing up for myself. So here's to tomorrow, may it be better then today and that ill get some sleep.

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