Saturday, January 21, 2012


    So today i realized i havent written on my blog in a while. I think its time for me to start back with writing again. There is so much that is going on in my life right now that I think i reallly do need to allow myself time to vent and just let people know what is going on with things.
  My time is even more precious lately because on top of working 40 hours a week, im taking on 12 hours of classes and still have to make sure that i have time to take care of Master and myself and our growing baby. It seems that time has become more of my enemy lately, but i know that it will only be like this for a short time.
    Master and i decided that it was better for me to go ahead and take a couple extra classes this semester because with our lil peanut arriving in August, i wont have very much time for school. Its actually not that bad because luckily im taking two classroom and two online classes. It really helps me with my time a whole lot better. My classes are just three nights a week and the rest of the week i have time to just go home and relax if i need to or catch up on my homework from all my classes. I thought that having online classes was going to be easy, but this time its a little bit harder than i thought. I have to balance making sure to get assignments done by the due date, reading chapters, studying lessons, taking notes, completing discussions and projects. Its enough to make anybody's head swirl, but add onto that being pregnant and it makes you even more tired than usual.
    Master is so amazing with everything and i am so happy to have Him by my side supporting me through everything. He is helping me to realize that everyday that i push to get these four classes done, is another day that i will have more time to spend and bond with our peanut when they get here. He reminds me that i cant let myself have excuses. Im not sure if ive admitted it here before, but i have been to college before. Last time i was in college, i had been raised in a structured household and needless to say i went a little wild when i got to college and was left on my own. I had a full ride ROTC scholarship as well as 2-3 other scholarships and i was getting paid $300 a month tax free just to go to school and an allowance to get my textbooks every semester. Looking back now, i realize that i had life made then. Despite that, i ended up hooking up with some friends that were real good friends with frat boys. Let's just say i was one of the many freshmen that drank and partied a lot.
   After going through my first semester, i also got sick and had to deal with that and the effects of too much partying. On top of that i had to deal with the after effects of being the victim of sexual assault and going through the whole trial and everything through the school. After that i made excuses for everything. I was always tired from being sick or i just couldnt do it anymore and my grades fell because of it. At the end of my freshmen year i was placed on probation for my scholarship, which i ended up having to give up because my grades just werent good enough and some other things. It took a lot for me, but i realized that i would have to grow up. I got a job and took out loans to pay for my third semester and it seemed that with working my butt off and really putting in the time to study and showing up to my classes that i could do the work. Going from a 1.8 GPA(which i am most definitely NOT proud of at all) to finishing a semester with 1 A, 3 Bs and a C (which was in the hardest class with the hardest professor) I was proud of myself. I knew what it was to work hard to get what i wanted and that if i set my mind to it i could get those grades everytime.
    Needless to say those plans got put on hold after i joined the military, but with us having a baby and the future with me in the military was beginning to get a little bit shaky from the health concerns that i have been facing. It just made me realize that i need to get it done and i want to make sure that i have a future in place that would allow both Master and i to support our lil one. I just want to have the best job to support them and going to school and finishing my degree will allow me to do this. Not only that i made a promise to my grandfather that i would finish school and that is one promise that i am not going to break no matter what. Anyways, Master has helped me to stay on track. He cant do much right now because of me being pregnant(and now His belt is broken), but He has offered to help be that reassuring strength to let me know that i can and will be able to finish school when i doubt myself. He has offered to give me spankings for missing an assignment or homework or not doing as well as i know i could have. He expects nothing but the best out of me, even when im tired from the pregnancy. He isnt going to take any excuse from me at all.
    An update on things with the pregnancy is i will be 11 weeks pregnant tomorrow. Its so weird to know that im pregnant, but at the same time it is the best feeling in the world knowing that i am carrying Master's baby. He still cant believe and has said He probably wont until He sees the little baby on the ultrasound. We both are so excited and cant wait for the next 9 weeks to pass so that we can find out what the sex of our little peanut is. Its so exciting and i cant believe how supportive He has been through everything. He has been there holding my hair and helping me up after my numerous bathroom trips to the toilet because peanut didnt like something that i ate or drank. He has taken care of me so well that i only wish i could return the favor. He is my whole world and i cant wait to meet this baby that will make our world that much better. We are both so excited to be parents. I wanted to share this picture. Its a little late, but its me with a little bit of a baby bump already at 10 weeks.
   Other than everything that has been mentioned above, i would like to say that Master and i are having so much fun and just enjoying life. We take things day by day and hopefully as things progress i will have more to talk about.