Saturday, February 18, 2012

Feelings of some sort....

   Today has been a good day :) It is so amazing to just be able to relax and enjoy spending time with Master. Today was the first time in a week that we have both been able to just sleep and do things on our schedule. All this week i have been on the run with work and Master has been sick. He's finally feeling better and i am almost over whatever little thing that i caught too.
    So i guess the reason for writing this is about my feelings...oddly enough since the title happens to be "feelings of some sort". It's weird, but i think lately i have felt so out of it. To be honest, i dont feel like myself submissively. The other day i had the worst moment ever. Master was feeling sick and He ended up going to sleep early while i was still out visiting with a friend(i had stayed longer than i had planned). I got upset about it, and must admit i even was partially mad at Him at the same time, but it was like i was fighting myself at the same time. The rebel in me wanted to scream and shout at Him how mad i was that He had fallen asleep without me, but the submissive side at me knew that He hadnt been feeling good and i was more upset that i had let myself down. To me, i felt like a failure that i hadnt taken care of Him very well because i wasnt home and He is always there with me when i get ready to go to sleep to rub my back or just snuggle with me. Needless to say, we talked about it and i explained how i felt after He woke up and realized i was home.
    That whole situation was a win for me partially because i didnt go with my rebel side and yell and wake Master up. He understood how i felt and wasnt mad at me for being upset that He had fallen asleep on me. So now that that issue is out of the way, there is another issue that im struggling with. Reading on several blogs that i follow, i see how they are experiencing numerous things. Now i know that with that everyone experiences things differently, but at the same time i find myself missing things. It's like its missing from our life and i know that Master is taking great pains to take care of me because a lot of days i can go from being completely fine one second to puking my guts up the next courtesy of our little baby that has taken up residence in my belly. It's just sometimes i miss it and im not quite sure how to come right out and ask for it just yet.
    The weird thing was that tonight Master and i were watching a movie and He started spanking me playfully. It hurt, but at the same time felt so good to me. To be honest, i feel like i need a good spanking and just a good session overall. My body is craving it and needs it since its been a while since ive had a good spanking and been played with like a fiddle. Reading a fellow bloggers post, i find myself craving a good spanking that leaves my butt red and sore and then Master getting so turned on that He uses His pussy.  So i guess this is my way of putting my need out there to Master for a good hard use session. Our toys havent been played with in so long and i know that the only thing that is really fine to go inside me is Him because the toys dont yield(sorry if too graphic but its true cause of being preggo) I guess my mind is just wanting to find some way to ask Him for a good spanking and a good use session because i want to squirt for Him again. He's made me do it before and id love to do it more for Him. To be honest, im not sure how much i could squirt if i really just let go. Im up for trying with Him though :) Oh well....wish me luck. Im off to go snuggle with my Master.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Just for You Master :)

   This has been the most amazing day ever and I find myself in shock more and more everyday that I am with Master. He is the most amazing man in the world and i couldnt ask for a better husband, Master, and soon to be father. He is the man of my dreams and i am thankful that God placed us in each other's lives everyday.
    These past few days i have been sick and i know that i am miserable to be around when im sick because i turn into even more of a baby then usual. You are amazing though because you take everything in stride and always do your best to make sure that i am comfortable and even more so now. On top of that, you also comfort me when im not sure if peanut is okay or not and just help to ease my fears. I honestly wouldnt dream of having a better person to have there for me when im at my absolute worst other than you.
     Its hard to believe that its been almost two years since we have started talking and became Master and lil one(okay almost is still two months away but still). In a world where things for me were shifting and beyond my control, you brought the control back to me. You let things move at my pace and didnt push me to be that doormat submissive that other "Doms" had done. Hearing things from my past that would make anybody cringe, You didnt turn to run but instead grabbed me up in Your arms and just held me tight letting me know that i was safe and ALWAYS would be. It has always been Your love and caring side that has let me know that You are an amazing Master because you truly know how to take care of Your submissive. Thank you so much Master for the amazing time that we have spent together so far and i look forward to the years to come to see where we go with the lifestyle.
    On that note, I have to say something that has been bugging at me lately. Well not so much bugging, but i feel the need to let you know something that i cant figure out how to put into words or come straight out and tell you yet. That will stay take a little time before i can just come to You and say flat out "Master i need _____ " so i hope that You will bear with me on this. Lately i have felt that there has been a good amount of time between You enjoying Your lil one. In the past i have never been one to ask for sex, but i find myself wanting it and craving it everyday(it must be the hormones talking cause it seems like i cant get enough lately and i definitely dont want to seem greedy). In the beginning, my body was telling me that it just wasnt comfortable with anything sexual, but now that i have experienced it i know that i definitely want it and can handle it. The first time that we had sex since i got pregnant was soooo amazing that i want to experience it as much as possible. The one night that You just began kissing me and took what was Yours was sooo amazing that i find myself wanting more of that. Having as much time together as we have and the history together that we have, i trust You Master and i know that You can read my body way better than i can. Please use me Master!!! My body craves it and needs it. I need You to take Your pussy and use it and just make it cum and squirt for You like You did once before. I never knew that i could squirt and i want to do some more for You....Your tongue so amazing that i long to feel it so much all over my clit and just teasing me until You cant take it anymore and then You plunge into Your soaking wet pussy.
   Hopefully this can express my need to You and how i feel about things. Since it is getting into the second trimester, i am feeling much better and find myself not feeling nauseous very much. So please Master if You feel like You need it, please use me. It lets me know that even though im pregnant that i can still do something for You without getting worn out to where i cant keep up with my normal tasks or do them because they are a health risk(like cleaning the whole house every weekend like i wanted to)