Sunday, September 27, 2015

Catching up.....

So first off, i have to admit that i didnt realize how long it had been since i last wrote in my blog. Omg do i feel bad for those that look for a post to see if i'm still around. Promise i havent disappeared, but life has most certainly gotten chaotic around here. 

Master is back in school and is working hard to get His certifications back. Which im SOOOOO proud of Him in doing so. He is working hard to make sure that He can provide for His family and it makes me love Him so much more. Now im not going to lie, but it brings out the lovely feelings down inside that before long i will be able to enjoy making His lunch and waiting for Him when He gets home and hopefully having dinner ready on the table. 

On top of that, im back in school and working towards my degree. It has been kind of chaotic getting back into the swing of things are going through a period where i felt that i wasnt really being challenged. Now i ended up challenging myself, and possibly too much as Master has been so good to point out, and have taken on 18 hours this semester. It has been a rough spot so far and i have been struggling slightly with getting my assignments handed in on time and studying and just balancing it with the chaotic life of being married and having a child. 

Family life has gotten very crazy and there has been so much that has changed since the last time i wrote. Christmas has brought some very strong emotions up in that i went out to visit my biological father for the second time and his wife, who i call mum because she was like a mother to me (even more of a mother than the one that gave birth to me). It was there that my dad revealed to me all the paperwork that he had been keeping over the years from the custody and divorce battle between him and my mother, and towards the end my stepfather. Reading through those and finding out all about how different things are really was shocking to me. Those letters revealed that she was trying to hide from him. He had to get the police involved to get them to let her know that she was being called in to court, not to mention at the time she left the state and flew all the way to the otherside of the country to keep me from him (which in my opinion was kidnapping at the time). 

My biological mother is a liar and has been lying to me my entire life after those documents revealed her true nature. She told my biological father in a letter that he just needed to give up and let me go because i was calling another man daddy and that was how it was going to be and that he just needed to accept it that way. It was hurtful to me that she would do this. I didnt get to make a choice at all and that is the part that infuriates me! She, for whatever reason, chose that he would be cut out of my life! The whole time growing up whenever i had asked about him growing up i would be told that he chose to not be involved in my life and he is the one who didnt call or write or send anything. However the letters revealed that she told him that i was going to be adopted by my stepfather and that he should just go ahead and let me go and forget about me because i wasnt going to know him. 

Since finding out about all of this, i have been struggling with what to do and how to manage things.

(these are some ramblings that i forgot to post)

Been gone with life

    Wow it has been a while since the post on this blog has been updated. Mostly because of life has it been neglected. W/we both have been busy with school, ride along's, our daughter, her being pregnant, and just life in general. W/we are still living the BDSM lifestyle as best we can.  W/we have been really blessed to have made it to 29 weeks with this little boy with minimum complications. Its been a whole new experience for us as with our daughter we were in a hospital room and had nurses looking after her making sure all was going well. lil one has a cerclage that is helping with her cervix and is also being given P17 shots to help as well. I (Master R) have been busy with going to school to get My recertification as an Advanced EMT (think of paramedic) and having to deal with all that comes with it. lil one is doing the same while being pregnant so she has it twice as hard. W/we have come to the conclusion that we do need this lifestyle and that it has helped us in so many ways when we have some arguments or rough times.

    For those wanting to know W/we are having a boy and when he was last measured he was ahead of where we actually thought he was so he is growing great and lil one is hanging in there with all the aches and pains and all the symptoms that come with the pregnancy. she is a hero in My book with keeping the house in shape, taking care of our daughter and all her activities, making and protecting our offspring, keeping up with bills, making sure I am taken care of, getting lunches and dinners prepared and served, and keeping sane through it all. I try to tell her everyday that she is amazingly sexy and beautiful. To Me there is nothing more beautiful than your wife and best friend to be molding and making an offspring for you. W/we have an amazing daughter who is daddy's girl all the way but I know for Me I am excited to have a boy. Having one of each has always been the way I wanted it and am so blessed to have it that way in a few months.

So for those who did read this blog W/we thank you and will try to keep it up as best we can.