Well along with that, things have been tipped opposite of what they were and i am finding myself lost on some things. Because of the dynamic that Master and myself have, i find myself thinking that i have to take care of everything from making sure kids are fed, changed, bathed, and any other duties that come with that to making sure laundry and dishes are done and the house picked up. It felt like i didnt want Him to have to worry about taking care of things between His short time at home between shifts and the days that He had off. It was all about making sure He was able to relax before going back to work another long shift. Master and i have talked about this, but for some reason i feel like i struggle with it every week. i just dont want to feel like i am adding to His already hectic schedule and cut into his relaxation time with me and our family while He is home. i feel it is my job as His lil one to provide for Him and make sure He is taken care of and by doing the things mentioned above i don't have to place that burden on Him to take care of those things while He is at home resting between work days. However, Master has been very quick to reassure me that it is perfectly okay and that i don't have to do all those things except what He has told me -- take care of the kids and do my school work. He has told me numerous times that it is me putting all those things on myself. It is very true and sometimes i wonder why i make extra work for myself when He has already stated that He is more than willing to help out if i need it because my days are just as long as His from dealing with the kids, going to school, and then studying/doing homework.
Now i have to confess that there is another part to what has been going on that i have told Master but it amazes me at how my body recognizes the change as well. Over these past couple weeks there have been several times where i have wanted to play because i was turned on, was missing Master, and just wanted to play. i am trying to work on communicating better with Master about me being turned on and the sucky part is that these days were ones where He was at work. i asked for permission and He allowed me to play. The crazy thing was that the first two days He was able to reply back right away when i sent Him a picture about half way thru the play time i was having with our wand that we have. However, i was able to cum a little bit but it was no where near the huge orgasms that happen when Master plays with me. For some reason those nights where He texted right after receiving His pictures my body recognized that He was there and there was a massive orgasm following a few minutes after His text message reply back to the picture. The hard part was a couple days ago. After giving my body some time to heal from the night Master got to play with His lil one (went in a little too far with the glass dildo that we have and nicked my cervix a little bit), i was allowed to play with myself. Even though i was distraction free and had my music on to keep my mind focused i just wasn't able to bring myself to truly cum like i do for Him. i think my body really does recognize that He is my Master and either i have to talk to Him in the middle of/right before playing by myself. My body recognizes that He is the one in control and follows His commands even when the two of us are apart. It is truly a wonder and makes me feel amazing at the same time knowing that i have come a long way for that to happen. Before i would have tried to push thru and ignore it (since i was given permission to play), but now i take it as a sign that my body wants Master's touch and that the toys just will not work the way i would like them to for play time. This was even with adding other toys that usually enhance things while Master is at home. This time it just didn't work, but i don't worry about it. Each time i have told Master that i wasn't able to have an orgasm like He gives me and it has made our playtime that much better.
And last thing is Master and i are needing a new bedframe at some point in the near future. It has been almost 6 years since we have bought one (trashed our old one with this last move since it was broken beyond repair). With how much Master and i are truly connecting with each other and focusing on the lifestyle as well, i feel that a bed like this would be an amazing option. We may not have enough to purchase a bondage bed from one of those major dealers, but i think we could swing a canopy bed that looks similar to this since Master and i both love the bondage side of the lifestyle and He likes to experiment with rope ties too :)