Country girl rocking the day away.....

   Yesterday was so much fun that I just cant believe it. I couldnt imagine spending the day any better then I did and I'm glad that He is feeling better. I hate that He wasnt feeling too good the past couple days. Last night though was a night of fun and exhausting, but well worth it.
  The day started off amazing for us. We woke up and snuggled together, waking up and watching tv. I love the little moments like this because it makes everything so worthwhile and it's when i find myself falling in love with Him all over again, especially when He tickles me as a way of waking me up or when im still half asleep pulls me over closer to Him to snuggle on His chest. It's the little things like that which make my heart melt over and over again. It's crazy, but I love it.
    I woke up, but I had been awake since earlier in the morning. Sleep hadnt come easy to me, but i was glad that He got a good night sleep. It wasnt great for Him compared to other nights, but at least He got some compared to the night before. I found myself with my head buried under the pillow for part of the night because His nose made His snoring a little louder. I dont mind it because I can tune it out, but for some reason my brain and mind were wired for sounds. This added onto the fact that i was having bad dreams made for a bad night of sleep. Although I can honestly admit i would do that night all over again because He was able to get a good nights sleep.

    After waking up, the two of us grabbed a shower and cleaned up. I love seeing Him when He comes out of the shower all clean and dressed. He dresses in what people would describe as the preppie look, but it's not really the preppie look if that makes sense. It's a still all His own that He has. I love it and His hat, that I rarely see Him without (because His hat is a part of who He is as a person), just makes it that much hotter to me. Anyways, I better stop while I'm ahead before I start drooling....
   We headed out to start our crazy hectic day. I couldnt believe that tonight we were finally going to see Brantley Gilbert!! This guy is an amazing singer and his songs are so good. We have a song that the two of us love and I was hoping Brantley Gilbert would sing it later tonight. Well, we grabbed some mexican for lunch and boy did it taste good. Neither one of us had eaten there in a while, so i suggested it thinking we should give the other restaurants a break. We werent too hungry either and it would be faster then any other places we went to. It was good and i was happy that He was feeling better today.I hated that He had been feeling sick the past day or two, but there wasnt really anything I could really do about it.
    Lunch passed and it was amazing because He felt that He was a good bit better and He had taken some medicine. I still admit that i hate feeling helpless and powerless to make Him feel better when He is sick, but oh well. Enough about how i didnt like He wasnt feeling good. There's only so many times i can say that before it gets repetitive. Anyways....we headed over to a country/western store to get some boots and jeans for Him for the concert. I can honestly say that i am glad we didnt have more time to look around then what we had because that store has a lot of bad ideas (well not bad but can be evil ideas more then bad) lurking around in there. I admit though that we may end up going back there, but either way i dont mind it because its not about what i want anymore, but what He wants.
    We finished up at the store, let me just say on a side note that i never knew a pair of jeans and boots could cost so much. I consider myself a country girl, but i still have yet to own an authentic pair of cowboy boots. The pair i have is fake looking, although they look real and feel like real boots. I just dont have a pair from one of those brands that make the cowboy boots....oh well. I have something to look forward to buying int he future---my first pair of REAL cowboy boots :).
    Anyways, after leaving the store we headed over to His brothers house to print off our confirmation. It was hilarious because there is a dog there that hates me and barks his head off everytime i come in. It's hilarious, but we printed it off and headed out because there was so much to do.
     After that, we headed back to the house to change and get ready for the night. It was amazing watching Him change from His usual clothes into the cowboy outfit. I couldnt believe how hot He looked and it was all i could do to keep from drooling on myself. I couldnt believe it, but He was right about how He may look like a preppie guy but he is a country guy. Boy was He right!!! He was absolutely amazing looking in the clothes. I loved every bit of it and i kept getting asked if He looked alright. I told Him that He looked fine, but He was more then fine to me. I loved this look. I honestly hoped that He couldnt see the twinkle that i had in my eye for Him.
    We left and headed off for the concert. It was going to be so amazing and this guy was awesome. I was so excited because i was dressed up for Him and He loved the way i looked dressed up as a cowgirl. I dont dress like one often, usually sticking with the more girly look, but it was a change for me and i wanted to dress like a country girl with Him. It was bad though with traffic (although later it turned out to be good luck) because we got stuck in major traffic and even went the wrong way for a short while. It was funny because we were lost, but still holding hands and listening to the radio. He was mad at Himself, but i can honestly admit that it happens to everyone. We got there with about forty minutes left until doors opened, so we went ahead and got in line to get tickets. I got my hands marked with the usual black X's when we were finally able to get in (cant wait til i dont have to get them anymore....counting down the months) and we headed to a place where we could see. This was the best spot for the night because it had a perfect viewpoint and we could see everything going on. The night ended up being a hot, but fun one and i wouldnt change it for all the money in the word. The two of us came home exhausted, but with a night of good memories.

An Interesting Twist....Taking Care of My Sick Honey

   It seems that life sometimes has a way of smiling at you and you dont know it. Today has been an amazing day and I wouldnt change it for all the money in the world (even Him teasing me while i write this blog).

   I have to admit something that I kind of left out yesterday. When I got my spanking and it was over with, the two of us went out to grab a bite to eat at a local restaurant. I can say that I was so self conscious the whole entire time. It was bad because I had to seat myself gingerly in my car because after the spanking I had gotten with the hairbrush and the barehand had made their mark. My skin was still sensitive and burning and I walked, wondering if people could tell I had just been spanked for being a bad girl and not remembering my place. It was a new feeling to get used to. The restaurant we went to had nice booths to sit in and thankfully the waitress sat us at a booth instead of a chair. I know if we had been sat at a table with the wood chairs, my discomfort would have been even more noticeable because that wood is unforgiving where the seat of the booth was a little more inviting. I'd like to say that my butt looked like this after the spanking, although I didnt look at it until quite a few minutes after the spanking, partially from having to stand there with my pants down for a few minutes so he could admire his handiwork.
   I'll just say again that I learned my lesson and I'm still feeling its affects today. There are still slight marks from the hairbrush, but I like them in all honesty. To me they are a reminder of where i stand and to not forget my place again. I had been acting kind of spoiled and he put me back in my place. I have been very careful since then, although I know my playful and fiesty side will come out every now and then but i know He is ready for it.
   The day started with me waking up shortly after he got up this morning. The two of us had fallen asleep last night quite fast. After being told to get off the computer, I lay awake for a little while longer after hearing Him snoring. I knew He was tired and hadnt been feeling good, so i let Him sleep. Besides it was cute watching and listening to Him sleep because it's more often the other way around that He is watching me sleep. Anyways, it was crazy because He was asleep part way through the night and ended up moving me to where i was curled up with my back to His chest instead of leg draped over His legs and arm over His chest. I usually sleep in either one of these positions anyways....We always fall asleep holding each other, which I love because it lets me know that im always His even after the day we've had whether it was good or bad and that He loves me. It's things said with His actions and not His words.
    After laying there awake for a little while this morning, it was amazing because we were planning on going to an amazing place today and for those of you who know it, i can finally say that i have officially been to....drum roll please......The Varsity in Atlanta. This place was huge!!! It is officially the world's largest drive thru and I was so impressed with it and everything it had. It was just amazing. The cheeseburger, fries, and onion rings I had were amazing but I would never suggest eating that much grease again. It wasnt so much the grease, but everything in all that food that I ate---let's just say my body was protesting every bit of it. All of that is made for a visit once a year because it is so greasy. It's crazy but I loved it because it was good and i can now say that i have been to one of the places in Atlanta that everyone goes to.
    The funny thing that happened at The Varsity (me and Him laughed about this later because both of us could care less what other people think) is that i was holding the baby that his family watches. She's so adorable and cute and at my age, what can i say other then i love babies. I know that i have to wait to have my own right now, but it's great to be able to play and just take care of other people's babies. Then again i have always been this way since i was little. It's the motherly thing I guess....idk. It was hilarious though because i had the baby and was following behind Him to see what was on the menu and everyone i passed gave me this look of "I cant believe thats your kid" or "She looks too young to have a kid" or just the typical downer look. It's like they were all judging me and automatically assuming that she was in fact my baby. Well, she wasnt, but i thought their reactions were hilarious. He found them funny too and agreed with me that both of us could care less about what they think.
    Sticking with the mother topic here real quick, i can say that i was fascinated with myself after our visit. I was juggling a baby in one arm while holding a bottle and in the other hand had an ice cream cone and was eating it and trying to feed the baby a little bit. I think this was a case of multi-tasking to the extreme, but ive always been good at that. It was crazy because He was telling me it was the maternal instinct kicking in. I didnt realize it, but oh well. I say that i cant wait to have my own child, but i can wait too until things are good (even though i know sometimes things unplanned happen), although its more of a just not right now at this moment idea.
    The other thing that got me thinking and i found an image that got me on this thought topic. It kind of goes with the whole kid thing, and not meaning this to have some hidden meaning behind it, but i just love kids and i'm a disney kid at heart as it is. I saw this image while looking up something online and thought it was hilarious. I didnt know that the disney people had a darker side to them, but I'll let you judge for yourself here.

   The picture speaks words because now that I think about it because Tigger was always pouncing and landing on top of people. Maybe like the other disney movies, there is a hidden meaning behind this or i am just being my usual self and over analyzing things.

   Anyways, back to the day. After getting back from The Varsity, He lay down because He didnt feel well at all. I felt so bad because i didnt know what to do and what He's feeling i just cant fix--all I can do is let him sleep and make sure He gets water and fluids and eats. I left the room and let Him sleep and camped out on the front porch with the laptop for a good two hours. It was so amazing just sitting outside while He was sleeping and working on things. I love making changes on here because it's a way that i can truly express myself the way i want to and He gets to see it. I love it!!
    After i was done working on various things with the blog and looking up various items, i headed in to check on Him. I went in and He popped up as soon as I closed the door. How is it that He always knows because i had been so quiet closing that door hoping not to disturb Him. Oh well, so much for that. He didnt get a whole lot of sleep, but had managed to get some thankfully. I hate that He is sick because i truly feel helpless and unable to do something other then get Him meds (if He wants them) and make sure He eats. It's just frustrating to me to not be able to do anything other then that, because i'm used to being able to do a lot more. I guess this is something to get used to for now.
   I did get to go and get dinner which tonight made me feel accomplished because i know im doing something to help take care of him. I like taking care of him, but it seems that i'm not really doing anything now. :( I wonder if im the only one that faces this kind of dilemma. It's not like i can order Him to drink or get rest by going to bed early or anything because He wont listen to me. I wouldnt be able to do it anyways because He is my Master and i just couldnt order Him around even if i wanted to.
   Well, enough for today I guess. I need to get back to taking care of my sick honey. There may not be much i can do, but ill do whatever i can for now.

A new spanking tool means another new lesson learned...

Today has been a wonderful day and it's hard to believe that it's almost over with now. These days so far that I have spent with him have been amazing and it hasnt even been a week yet.
    Last night's movie was a good movie. It was cool because we were talking about ghosts and whether or not we believed in them or things like that. The two of us were talking and he says that he believes in those kinds of things although his grandmother doesnt. It was cool because I felt that I had experienced something when I was younger. It was a one time thing that I can remember. It was something that happened when I was younger, I think I was about four at the time. I remember touring the Bell Witch cave and swearing that I saw her there, but my mom told me that I hadnt because there was no way I could see her. It was creepy and I remember running out of the cave all the way back to the car because I saw her and I knew she was evil. My mom swears this never happened, but I know it did.
    Anyways, we cuddled together watching the movie and he was laughing at me jumping and twitching at various parts of the movie. It made me feel so safe though when he grabbed me and just was like he was letting me know it was okay I didnt need to be afraid. Well, he was letting me know that, but it was more his hugs were saying it then his words.
    After finishing the movie, he turned on Army Wives on for me. It was so sweet that he remembered that I liked this show as he turned it on. He turned over and I was rubbing his back. I couldnt believe it, but it was so cute how within a few minutes he was dead asleep. Well not dead asleep, but he was knocked out. I kept rubbing his back and he stayed asleep. After a second, I covered him up with the blanket and watched some more of Army Wives. He looked so cute and innocent asleep like that I loved it.
    I passed out not too long after watching the movie, but apparently watching that movie was a good and a bad idea if that makes sense. I dont normally have bad dreams from scary movies, this one wasnt even very scary either, but as of last night I had super bad dreams. I found the witch in my dreams and it was crazy because she was chasing me for something, I'm not sure what. After that, the black form hooded guy from the movie, turned into the guy that I dread seeing in my dreams and real life. It was crazy and I found myself fighting him in my dream, trying to get away from him again.
    After this bad dream, i fell back asleep for a short time and then on top of that I woke up hearing music. I was confused because he wasnt in the bed but the music was on. I realized I had to pee, so I got up and walked around the house looking for him. I heard the tv on and thought maybe he was in the living room. Well not finding him, I went ahead and used the bathroom and then went to text him. I knew he wouldnt leave me, but me not knowing where he was had me a little bit worried. I got a text message from him a few seconds later saying he hadnt left me. Knowing that he was here, just probably doing something helped calm me down and I settled in and watched some tv. It was going to be a good day. I knew it, especially after him coming back and smiling at me, kissing me and reassuring me that he wouldnt ever leave me without me knowing where he was going.
    The day started with me grabbing my clothes and then grabbing his so the two of us could take a quick shower. We had gotten lucky and his grandpa and brother weren't home. We had a good time in the shower and I realized that my certain area was still a little sensitive. It was just the lips, but I'm glad it wasnt extremely sensitive like it was yesterday. Although I have to admit that I'm not complaining about what happened either. It felt amazing. After showering, I grabbed the laundry and folded it real fast while he finished watching the Price is Right. I cant believe I had forgotten those clothes in the dryer, but next time i will remember for sure.
    After watching the rest of the show, we headed out the door to Zaxbys and Wal-Mart. He had decided he was going to cook spaghetti for dinner and I was excited because it was going to be yummy. He's a good cook and his ham and macaroni and cheese was good as well. I wonder if we can cook some more later this week because I love to cook and I want to let him taste some more things that I can cook. Anyways, we headed out the door and our first stop was Zaxbys for some lunch. It was yummy...I hadnt had a grilled chicken sandwich from there in a while---pretty much since last time I was down here with him.
    His food was good and I talked with him and filled him in on my dreams. This was where I found out that I was combative in my dreams last night with him, well this morning. He was trying to calm me down and just get me to stop fighting and I guess when I was fighting to get away from him, I almost knocked him out. I felt safe knowing that he was there for me trying to calm me down and just there for me when I was having bad dreams. I have never experienced this before and I love the feeling of knowing he is there always, in good and bad times for me.
    After finishing at Zaxbys, the two of us headed off to Wal-Mart for some groceries for dinner. We looked at some Georgia stuff and got some things for me that I need for basic. I cant believe the time is getting closer, but he felt we should go to Athens to look at some more UGA stuff and go to the mall there. I was up for it, which I'm really up for anything as long as I'm spending time with him. We checked out and finished up there and then headed back to the house to drop the food off.
    We dropped the food off and headed to Athens. I was excited because this was going to be another part of Georgia that I got to explore with him. He was showing me all these other places and I love road trips with him. We left and headed down the road. It was amazing driving down the road with all the windows down and the music blasting, singing along as loud as can be. I loved every minute of it because the two of us can goof off and laugh together at the various songs we listen to and sing to. He was dancing to Barbie Girl which made me laugh.
    The funny thing is that this song to me makes me think of the lifestyle and reminds me of how I feel about things, especially with certain lines. Hearing the song and listening to little girls singing it, it's cute because they dont know what it means. Being older, I learn more about what various parts mean and it sounds a little weird, or it did when I first was still learning about who I am. Now that I know who I am there are certain lines that make me laugh and smile because they fit my personality. The lines that hit home the most for me are: "Make me walk, make me talk, do whatever you please. I can act like a star, I can beg on my knees..." It's funny because this is so true that he can make me do whatever he wants to with  me because I am His lil one.
    Anyways, enough about random song lyrics and back to the day. We got to Athens and walked around the mall. I couldnt believe this mall. It was amazing and I loved going into the shops with him. I'm still getting used to the whole idea that whatever I'd like he will buy it for me (within reason of course i'm sure of). I am not 100% used to it, but am still working on it. I dont want to get so used to it that I act like a spoiled brat or anything like that, but I also know that he likes to take care of me too. It's conflicting emotions there, but I'm working on it slowly but surely. It was amazing though walking into the UGA shop and seeing all the Georgia gear. It looked so cool and I honestly would have worn a lot of it, but would rather wait until I get out of basic and can wear whatever. It's also because I know that my clothing size will probably change between now and that time too.
    After hanging out at the mall, we headed out and decided to stop at the Wal-Mart in Athens while we there. It was funny, but with the college being in Athens it was more then likely we would find a whole section of gear there. Sure enough, we get in there and we did find a whole section of Georgia gear for the car and to wear and all. I loved his idea of getting a camo flag for my car to sport. I would proudly put it on my car and the funny thing is if I pulled up with that, my parents would go "how are you paying for all of this?" which is their usual response for everything. It's crazy that I never really cared about a sports team before, but it seems that I'm excited about finally having a team to cheer for. I'm sure that over time he will teach me about them, I may see if he can do that one day while I'm here, but I'm happy to have a team to cheer for too that isnt UT. I may be a Tennessee native, but I hate UT. I dont know why but I do for some reason.
    We left Wal-Mart after I got a brand new wallet. I LOVE it. I have been looking for the kind of wallet it is and it's also a Georgia fan wallet. I couldnt believe it and all my stuff fits in it. Well, all my bank cards and id cards and all. I feel like today we accomplished a lot and it wasnt even completely over. On the way home, we decided to stop at Sonic for a drink and it was amazing. I think I had a sugar overload today though because halfway through my drink I started feeling sick, so I quit drinking it. It got close to dinner time and as I was helping him cook dinner, I felt like I was going to be sick  and had a headache. Although usually when I get a headache, I feel this way anyways.
    Before we started on dinner the two of us were cuddling together, watching tv. It felt so good to lay there snuggled in his arms and it was funny because i stole his hat a couple times. I had so much sugar in me and I could feel it going through me. I loved the feeling, but it was funny. I guess I dont need that much sugar again. I felt bad though because I got myself into trouble with him. I was being playful and didnt answer him when I was playing around and said no that he wouldnt beat my ass for taking his hat. I knew he would if he really was going to but for some reason my playful side had me saying no. I didnt answer him though, even after being asked five times and that earned me smacks with my hairbrush. I have to admit the hairbrush doesnt seem as bad to me, because the belt has more of a bite although I'd rather not have either.
    Speaking of playful side, I cant figure out why it is coming out. It's like I want to get into trouble but I dont. I dont know what this feeling is or whether it's normal. I just dont want to be bad just to get attention by getting in trouble. I've read that sometimes submissives do that just to get attention, because they feel neglected by their Dom/Master. I know I dont feel neglected at all because he pays so much attention to me, but at the same time I have a side that is begging to be let out and get into trouble. I want to be playful and I guess see how far I can go before I get into major trouble, but I dont want to push buttons. It's like the Angel and the Devil are playing sides with me. I couldnt believe it and I hate these conflicting feelings. It's almost like I'm tempted to ask to just give me a spanking or something or I dont know what so that I can get it out of my system. I'm sure he'll know what this is, but I guess with all things too that I may get into trouble sometime later anyways--not on purpose either.
    It was crazy though because after getting told I was in trouble, he pulled me up close to him and snuggled with me. He was working on make me laugh and tickling me. It was weird though because apparently I had turned him on with all the feistiness I had displayed before when I was taking his hat away from him. He was hard and I could clearly see it through his shorts. It was noticeable to me after he said "Look at what you've done to your Master." I couldnt believe I had done that and didnt know that I had turned him on so much. He kept kissing and nibbling on my ear and asking me if I was "turning into a horny little girl with his kisses". My voice couldnt seem to come out, but my head was silently thinking "Yes, Sir" I was. I really was getting turned on by his kisses and the nibbling on my ear. It felt so good and he knows that spot on my neck and ear is just such a huge turn on for me. Oh well, it felt so good and I wasnt complaining. It was a little sore when he started rubbing me, but after yesterday the only part of me that is sore is my lips where I think he bit me.
    After getting in trouble and being told that I have five smacks with the hairbrush I was a little sad, but he began tickling me to make him smile. I love how he can punish me but also let me know I'm His and make me smile and laugh too. It's a delicate balance of control and power and discipline mixed with caring and guiding too. It was funny because he pulled me on top of him, letting me relax and all on top of him. I'm not sure but maybe he likes the feeling of me laying on top of him. He went to get up and I clinged to him like a monkey. It's funny because he keeps calling me a monkey because of the way I clung to him earlier or how I pick things up with my toes. It's funny though because I realize that my nickname from my parents suits me very well--monkey.
    Anyways, he was pulling me up and I went to wrap my legs around him when he let me go to the ground on my knees. It felt so bad when I landed because I hit the battery pack of my computer with my bad knee. It wasnt his fault because he didnt know they were there and he didnt let me down hard either, I think I just hit it wrong but the pain hurt really bad. He was sweet and massaged it away though as I lay there trying to focus off it. It was sweet and caring to me. It's crazy just how well he takes care of me. I'm in shock everytime he does it because I dont expect it, but it happens everytime. He truly cares about me and loves me and it shows in every little thing he does for me from remembering my favorite tv shows to easing my aching knee.
    After that, we headed into the kitchen and started cooking. It was fun watching him cook and I love it. I love cooking too, but every now and then it's nice to watch others cook, although I havent cooked but once so far. I hope I can cook some more before I leave because I have some awesome recipe ideas to make for him and I make good food. I also like that it saves money too on getting things for dinner instead of going out to eat a lot.
    Well, I grabbed the things out of the pantry while he was using the bathroom and had grabbed the cookies too. I decided that I was going to make some cookies after dinner because for some reason I wanted to try some homemade chocolate chip cookies. The dough was already made from the first time I came down, so I just had to put them in the oven. I took a small bite out of one of the balls to test and see just how frozen it was. It turns out it wasnt too frozen and easy to eat like it was. I love eating raw cookie dough, so I took another bite. About that time, he was coming out of the bathroom and asked me if I just took a bite of it. Responding with a yes because he had seen me, it's not like I would lie about it anyways, he told me that was an extra smack. I didnt need that extra sugar. I went to finish the doughball and got the evil look and asked if i was going to keep eating it. I nodded my head because I was really wanting one at the time, but after that he said I now had ten hits. I hated that and sat there for a few minutes toying in my head whether it was worth it to finish eating it and receive the ten hits or to just put it back and take the six that I got. I ended up deciding it wasnt worth it and balled it back up to where it was a normal ball and didnt look like someone had just bitten into it and put it back in and then put it back in the box. I got a funny look as i licked my finger of the small bit of dough that was on my fingers as I headed out of the room to use the restroom.
    I came back and finished helping him with dinner. I felt bad because when it came time for me to get the dishes out, I was deleting other contacts from phone that I didnt talk to anymore or hadnt talked to me. A good bit of those contacts were from college anyways and I no longer needed them. I just felt bad though because it was my job to get that taken care of and I was slacking in it. I need to get back into gear because I feel like I am forgetting occasionally. It's somewhat like he was asking me earlier if I had become too much of a spoiled princess that I needed to be reminded of my place. In a way I think I do, but in a way I think I dont. I know he knows me well enough to know when I need a reminder and I know that He will always make decisions in my best interests and what he thinks is the best for me. I may not always like the decisions, but I know theyre in my best interest and to teach me and guide me.
    Well after dinner, I was asked if I was going to strip him. I didnt know if it was rhetorical or not or if he was just being funny. I admit that I was shocked and kind of blew it off. I couldnt believe it and I nodded my head no. It was more because I wasnt totally sure of how to do that because I've never done that before. I didnt think about it and glanced it off and then asked him if he would rub my back. For some reason, my back and head were hurting and I just couldnt seem to fight it off. I drank water and I ate some actual food that wasnt filled with sugar and it seemed my headache still wasnt going to go away. I decided to suck it up and take some Lortab and it seems both abated with the medicine and him rubbing my back. I just hope it didnt seem like I was blowing him off because I didnt like the idea or anything like that, although with him it wouldnt matter because he can order me to do it too. It's either way.
    Well today has been an amazing day and i cant wait to see what tomorrow brings. He is an amazing guy and I feel so lucky to have him in my life. i love how he drives and the various topics we can discuss from kids to license plates to jobs to ghosts and to careers. I love it all and how I can be so honest and open with him. It's a life changing experience for me, but it is for the better. It's like I realized earlier today that there are things in my life that have changed that I never noticed until now. Like with my whole money situation, I know that even though I will be away in tech school that I will still be clearing things I purchase through him because it prevents me from spending money that I dont need to be spending. It's like my version of the checks and balances system. Like when we were talking and I was still living in the boro, I didnt go out to eat really because I didnt need to spend that money or I didnt go shopping a lot. I love the idea of clearing things through him and knowing that I can or cant get this or that. I'm excited though because my one happy thought is that we get to look for a car together after I graduate from basic or tech school. It will more then likely be after tech school, but I just cant wait. That will be when I'm finally completely independent of my parents and wont have to depend on them for anything because I'll be taking care of things, with His help of course to make sure I'm doing it right.
    All this talk of how amazing he is makes me wonder. I can say and I havent voiced it to him, but I'm getting worried now and a little nervous about basic. I know the date is steadily approaching. My nerves are starting to kick in because I wonder just how well I will do or even will I make it all the way through. I know he has already said that he will love me no matter what and has complete confidence that I will make it through. My worry is that something else beyond my control will cause me to not make it. I guess more the fears in my head are getting the best of me and I'm sure they're all uncalled for fears but they still feel real to me. I just dont want to let him down because I want him to be proud of me and I really do want to join the military. I guess whatever happens, happens and we can figure it out then if anything does, but for now I guess I just need to relax and just let things happen and enjoy spending all the time I can with him. There is no point in worrying about things that are beyond my control.
    I cant wait to see what tomorrow holds for us, but tonight is going to be a good night. I'm anxious to get that spanking over with, but know either way it's to teach me a lesson. I am curious as to if the hits from the brush will be too hard or not. No use worrying about it though because when the time comes I will take my punishment. I earned it and deserve every bit of it. It still makes me curious if I should get more to remind me of my place because I'm not totally sure that I havent been acting like a spoiled princess and forgotten my place. I know that only he can decide that. Well anyways, heres to a brand new day tomorrow and fun tonight snuggling together.

Another Day, Another Lesson Learned...

   It seems that my life is pleasantly amazing and I love it. Lately I have been doing some reading online and it is so amazing to see just how many people think along the same lines I do. It's a comforting feeling to know you're not the only one feeling this way. It's also nice to know that I'm not alone in having to write about things going on in my life (although lately I dont mind because it has helped me realize just how far I have come).
   Anyways, back to my task. It seems that today has been filled with amazing ups and downs, although for the most part it has been ups. I love how today turned out and wouldnt change it for all the world. I learned a valuable lesson that I think sometimes I bite off more then I chew (to be explained further later).
   I cant believe that I slept as late as I did today and when I woke up, I honestly did feel like I had slept half the day away. It was almost twelve when I woke up, but the bad thing was that when I woke up He was already awake in another room. I hate knowing that He has been up for a while and I have been snoozing away. I guess such is life and sometimes you get tired, but I think my new goal is to be up and awake no later then 10-1030 every morning. Although I have to admit that for now that I should enjoy sleeping in while I can because here soon there wont be any sleeping in at all or other things that I enjoy. Well, off that sad thought cause I really dont want to think about it right now.
    I woke up and realized what time it was. For some reason I had a burst of energy and was already making the bed, but yet I was still in a half asleep mindset. It was a weird feeling and it seemed like I was pretty much on autopilot making the bed, my one task that I have to do every morning. It doesnt matter how fast we get up, but I have to make sure the bed is made and everything. I love it though and wouldnt give it up. I just cant believe I got out of bed as fast as I did and already had the bed made by the time He came back in. In all honesty I think I broke my speed record (not really timed myself before though) because it took me maybe two or three minutes to have that bed made.
   I think He thought it was funny when he came in the room and I stumbled out the door to the bathroom and didnt say one word. I have to admit right now that I'm not a morning person and it usually takes a few minutes of being constantly tickled to wake up and be coherent enough to form sentences. It's all good and I'm glad that He is understanding that I'm not awake enough in the morning to talk when I first wake up. I think it would be hard for me to do a lot in the morning, although soon that may change and I may turn into a morning person.
   After coming back in and laying back down with him, we were laying down talking. I love the little moments that I get to spend with him just laying and talking. We have the dynamic of the 24/7 lifestyle, but it's not always visible if you were to look at us. Although I will say that for future reference for myself I will make sure to remember my place, but my fiesty side may ruin that for me every now and then. But hey, every good girl gets into some trouble every now and then right? It's just the little moments make things all worthwhile when I'm laying with Him and He pulls me close and it's like He's letting me know it's all going to be okay no matter what and I can feel just how much He loves me. Call me a sucker or a softy, but I love those moments when I'm just laying there in His arms because there is no better place to me. I also love these moments because I can talk to Him about anything and there is no risk of judgement or criticism. It's like He has told me time and time again that I can ask Him anything no matter how silly or weird I think it is.
    It's hard to believe our cuddling time ended, but it did. It was hilarious because I was feeling in a playful mood. I ended up getting my ass beat with the belt. Well not beat, but I got about six to seven smacks with the belt because I didnt do something when He said to do it. Curse my playful nature, although I have to admit that every now and then a playful spanking feels good to me. This one felt good compared to another I received. I definitely dont want to repeat that one anytime soon.
   The two of us purchased some pizzas online. We were thinking about getting Pizza Hut---well rephrase that---He wanted to get Pizza Hut and I wanted Papa Johns. I used to work for PJ so I know their pizza dough is fresh like they said and I wasnt too sure about PH. I told him that they had two large anyway you want them pizzas for $20 (good grief I sounded like I was answering the phones at work again lol). Well I convinced Him to get the PJ. I love it and my favorite pizza is their BBQ chicken with onions. It is so yummy and the BBQ sauce is so tangy and it's better the the plain and boring pizza sauce on the regular pizza. What can I say I like things to not be boring, even with the food I eat.
    Well we went and picked up the pizza. I have to say this was where I made another mistake that might have led to me learning a valuable lesson and being reminded of an important thing today. He told me that He was hungry and wanted some pizza. Well, I didnt think about what came next out of my mouth (that tends to happen a lot but it's usually stopped with a reminder of the infamous "Excuse me?" that makes you think twice about what you just said) and it might have pushed things further along. I told him "you can wait til you get home" not thinking about what I had just said. I got the response of "Excuse me?" and I realized what I said. I didnt really say anything because you cant backtrack and pretend you didnt say it, because then you get in trouble for lying but at the same time you cant admit you said it either. It's the typical lose/lose situation. Oh well, I guess thats why I'm still learning how to filter my mouth.
    We got home and ate our lunch and spent some more time cuddling and watching tv. In all honesty I dont care how I spend time with Him as long as I get to spend time with Him. Our time together is valuable to me and He knows it especially with my dates coming up soon. Ugh, dont want to think about that. The two of us talked about some things and I started reading online. It's crazy how reading some erotic stories can get me so turned on, but because I'm not allowed to touch myself I had to quit while I was ahead. That is one of the rules that I have from Him is that I cant touch myself (within few reasons of course) because I'm His to do with as He wishes and my pleasure comes from Him and not me.
   Well, after some time laying together and reading, we finally had the house to ourselves. After a short time He pulled me up and I thought we were going somewhere, maybe to get dinner because I didnt know what time it was. Boy was I proven wrong because shortly after being brought up, I was pulled back down over His knees. Its a weird feeling to describe being pulled over someone's knees. It shocks me every time it happens because He does it at the times that I least expect it. Oh well, such is life. Things are done at His time of choosing and not mine, which I like the element of being surprised because then it makes it that much more suspenseful for me. I received numerous smacks bare handed and then he pulled me up. I could feel the heat coming off my smarting butt even through my jeans, but I knew I couldnt rub it yet.
   I was silently celebrating the ending of it, but it wasnt over yet :(. I was told to get my hairbrush, which to me are words I dread hearing cause that hairbrush smarts. I went and got it, taking slow steps back but there werent many steps until I was back by His side. It was time for my spanking with the brush, but I had to pull my jeans down first though, which to me was the hardest thing ever. It just makes it that much more humiliating to me.I pulled them down and was pulled back down over His lap. I steeled myself for the hits from the brush thinking it would be only a few minutes of smarting. Little did I know it would get worse then that. I was spanked several times, so many that I lost count. I was then stood up against the wall. My butt was smarting so bad now and I wanted to rub it so much. I couldnt believe the pain, but I honestly was close to tears at this point. I received more hits and it seemed that I couldnt take much more.
   After what felt like an eternity, He turned me around and pulled me towards Him. It was so amazing to feel his comforting arms around me because I was in tears now. The pain level on my butt had maxed out and it was burning like crazy. It felt good as His hands massaged it away. It still smarted, but seemed to go away a little bit. I was told this spanking was to remind me of my place. I had posted before that I thought I might need to be reminded of my place, but today I got way more then I bargained for. It was crazy, but I wouldnt change it for all the world. I know I am new to this way of life, but I know this is His way of teaching me and guiding me. Without occasional lessons to remind me of where I stand, I would become unruly and get out of hand. I wouldnt be doing it purposefully, but it would be more because of my personality and it wouldnt be kept in check.

   I know I have a fiesty personality that comes out, but I have also learned that there are times for it to come out and times where I need to put it aside. I have learned so many valuable lessons both in and out of my new way of life that I still cant believe how far I have come so far. I know there are many more lessons to learn, but its amazing to look back and see the shell of a person that I used to be compared to who I am now and who I will be. There are times I may not completely agree with what He is doing or how He does something,but the one that comforts me is that I know everything He does is for my best interest and is what He feels I need. The one thought and reminder I have written down is : "Let Him be the Dom/Man I want even if I dont agree with the punishments that He feels I deserve." It rings true now and always for me and is my simple reminder. Well, thats enough for one day have to leave something for the future....
 

Sometimes pain can bring ecstasy.... :)

Today has been the most amazing and relaxing day ever. We pretty much did nothing and it felt so good to just sit back and relax after the two crazy days we had. I cant wait until next weekend though to find out what my surprise is. After today its going to drive me nuts until then.
    Well last night ended up pretty awesome. We were relaxing and watching tv, which was so much fun after the long day of running all over and taking care of wedding things. The night ended pretty well with the both of us grabbing dinner at Chili's. It was so good and we had amazing service from our waitress. After getting home, we just sat and relaxed. I was being playful with him while we were cuddling and I ended up getting turned over and spanked quite a few times with no pants to spare me. I remember struggling to get away, thinking it was funny until they started hurting. It was weird because I didnt know I was in a playful mood but it was put to an end real fast.
    I was spanked quite a few times and found myself throwing my hands back, trying to prevent myself from being hit harder. It got to where it stung a good bit and it was on bare skin. I think I was still in shock, but I remember throwing my hand back to protect myself. I felt it pulled up into my back and pinned as my other hand was still pinned underneath me. It's weird but everytime I've had that happen, he has only had to pin one hand because the other one is pinned underneath me with my body weight.
    Anyways, after being spanked, my pants were pulled down and he began fingering me until I came close. I begged him to let me cum, but all i kept getting told was no. It seemed that he liked teasing me. I was so close and I felt myself getting closer until I felt him move me to where I was licking and sucking him. I dont know why but anytime I do this I love it. I guess because it lets me know I'm making him happy either way with sucking him. After a few minutes of sucking on him, I was pulled up and on top of him. It felt so good having him inside me that I couldnt believe it. I think this was more about teaching me something though, I guess more about there is a time to be playful and a time not to be. After a few minutes and a couple orgasms for myself later, I felt him move me off him. I was then moved back down to where I was cleaning him off from my juices being on him. I didnt particularly hate the taste, but I didnt love it either. It's one of those that it tastes pretty decent, but then again I'm partial to it.
    A few seconds after cleaning him off of all my juices, I was pulled off and told to kneel on the floor in front of him. Within a few minutes I found myself being face fucked, for lack of a better term here. It felt good, I guess because I was craving the sensations it was creating. I wanted him to use me however he wanted and at this point he was doing just that. I found myself gasping for air a couple times because I was trying to be good and take it as deep as I could. I know that I still havent gotten over my gag reflex, but I know with time and some training and help I will get there.
    After a few minutes, I couldnt believe what I was hearing or saying to what was happening. I heard him asking me if I was "ready for Master's cum" and all I could think was yes. I think I voiced a "yes, Sir" or a nod, not totally sure but I know I answered him. It was what I was craving at the moment. I dont know why but I hope its supposed to happen, lol. There are so many things that I'm still learning about and reactions and everything that are normal for situations. Well, I was able to have some of my Master's cum and boy did it taste good. At least what I got of it because a good bit of it ended up on my chest and neck. Oh well, beggars cant be choosers.
    After that, i felt exhausted but I was content at the same time. We cuddled back up together and fell asleep. I knew the two of us werent waking up until later in the day because we were exhausted from the day before and taking care of everything. Well, we ended up not waking up until about elevenish, or at least I didnt. I woke up to his smiling face looking at me as he was watching tv.
    The day started out with me taking a quick shower so that I could get dressed for the two of us to go out with his grandfather. They go out to lunch every Sunday and its amazing spending Sundays at lunch with his grandfather and him. It's nice time hanging out together.
    After we got back from lunch, we headed to get some things from Wal-Mart. It was going to be a fun trip because honestly shopping to me is always fun no matter what kind it is. We headed there and picked up some snacks and some other things. I loved getting this done and it felt good. I was in jeans and a tank top, but he was looking hot in his Georgia polo and khakis. He looked like one of those football fans . I loved the way he looked today and love seeing him dressed up or dressed down. He is right that he is a country guy that knows how to dress.
    Anyways, back to the day. After shopping at Wal-mart, we headed to Kevin's house. The two of us were texting each other while on the way there. Leaving Wal-Mart I had told him that I was sad because my phone wasnt going off anymore. It was like all my friends had forgotten about me. I havent received a text message from anyone except my recruiter to tell me congratulations since I have been down here. I love spending time with him and everything, it was just I felt like they had forgotten all about me. Well, he made me realize that maybe they arent texting me because they know that I'm safe with him. I love this explanation and know its more then likely true.
    We got to Kevin's place so he could pick up his shoes and said hi to everyone for just a few minutes. It turns out that Shantelle's mom now knows what my surprise is for Saturday. I'm not sure what it is and my ideas got shot down because I know it happens later. It's something that if we leave the wedding thing by 5 we would have plenty of time and I'm wearing my summer dress. It really makes me wonder, but who knows. I guess this will be one thing I'm going to have to let the curiosity eat at me since I'm sure none of them are going to tell me what it is.
    After picking up his shoes, we headed back to the house. It felt so good to head home to relax. I told him before we left that I was in a playful mood and wanted to play. He told me that he would play with me, well the first time it was another definition of the word play, but we still played. We got back and he told me as we pulled up that I better run. It took me a few seconds to realize it, but I got out the car right as he parked it and took off. It didnt take him but a few steps past the driveway to catch up with me. I had ditched the flip flops, thinking they would make me faster, but I should have run with them instead.
    Well, I was still in a playful mood and wanted to play hide and seek. It was funny because I found myself ready to play and he was willing to seek me. I had mentioned before to him that my best hiding place I could think of was the trunk of my car because then he couldnt see me. I knew for sure that he wouldnt find me there because he wouldnt expect it. Well, after what felt like forever and not hearing him searching anymore, I went back into the house and he was laying in the bedroom. He had given up on finding me. I laughed because I had won this game.
    After playing this, I was still playful and ended up getting things started with the two of us playing together. We were in mid process of him turning me on when Jennifer came busting in the room to tell us that his mom was here and that she was going to go off on him. I can honestly admit that I was alittle upset that they would just come busting in like that because of his mom being here. She can get upset all she wants, but she can do it outside the room. I'm not normally mean about things, but it just seemed she barged in or was making certain comments to him about the two of us. I was about to strangle someone if anything else was said.
    Before too long I found myself tied and he was tickling me unmericlessly. It felt so good but I got to the point where I had to call mercy. I loved it though because I hate being tickled for too long but at the same time I love it. After being tickled things progressed to him fingering me as hard as he could. I'm not sure how many of his fingers were inside of me, but they felt good and hurt all at the same time. The crazy sensations I was feeling inside of me were hard to put together even after things were all done. I found my body being wracked by orgasm after orgasm that he allowed me to have. I found myself begging each time for him to let me cum. I'm not sure but I think I might have orgasmed once without him giving me permission, but I think he would have said something. It was right before he gave me permission for another one, but they were like back to back. I love the feeling of him controlling my body like he does, making me beg for it. It's amazing that I have gotten used to having to ask him for permission to cum. I cant even let go of all sensations without him telling me I can, even though I know it's in my rules too.
    Well after this, we cuddled together. I know I worried him at one point after because I was unusually quiet. I tried calming him by telling him nothing was wrong, but he sensed I was thinking about something. Its such an uncanny ability he has of being able to tell when something is on my mind even when I say there isnt anything. I love that he does that, aside from the fact that I know I can never lie to him anyways. I was trying to focus and draw my thoughts together and just figure out what all I experienced today. It was also hard to move because between my legs was soooo incredibly sensative that it was sore. Any movement, if it was the wrong way, would make it hurt and just felt like bare skin sticking to each other.
    I couldnt believe the feelings that have been created in me. I feel that my body feels so sore, but I also loved all the good feelings he created too. I finally got to where I was feeling better and could finally form sentences. It was amazing and I loved fixing dinner with him because he was laughing at me and my penguin walk the entire time. i cleaned up and headed back into the bedroom. It was a long and good night. We cuddled together and I couldnt believe that today was as amazing as it was. The best part of the night to me was when he calmed my fears after having a little bit of bleeding when I went to the bathroom after a short time. He let me know it was nothing to worry about that when he started worrying was when I needed to worry. It calmed me a lot because with everyone else, I was accused of being a hypochondriac and a "worry-wart". I love how he just lets me know it's natural and it was probably something from earlier.
    Today has been so amazing and I cant wait to see what tomorrow has in store for me. It's going to be an amazing day! I know it! I know there is a lot to do before I leave, but I'm loving just relaxing and enjoying all these little moments with him. I love him so much and he really is my world.

Exhausting day but a beautiful wedding and a dressed up Master

Today has been amazing and utterly exhausting all at once. I cant believe just how long today seemed but it was amazing seeing everything with the wedding and all. I was excited to get all dolled up for him.
    Last night it was hilarious because the two of us were able to take a shower together. This is a rare opportunity for us and when we get the chance we take it. It felt amazing and we talked. I knew he was upset and he voiced that to me. I couldnt believe that I had forgotten to change certain things that had been left. I adamantly told him that I was His and only His and that I belonged to Him and i had honestly forgot about these details when I was changing everything. I hoped that he could see my sincerity because I only belonged to Him and only wanted Him. I could care less about anyone else....all I see is Him.
    Anyways...we were in the shower and it felt so good to relax and just clean each other off after the long day we had of running around and taking care of things for the wedding. We finished in the shower and I weighed myself. Somehow I had gained 4 pounds in the two days since I had last weighed myself. i couldnt believe that I had gained that much weight, so I decided I was really going to have to watch what I ate lately. (This was later changed after I weighed myself again, but thats told about later.)
    After the shower, the two of us lay in bed and I found myself rubbing his stomach and slowly moving farther and farther down. I find myself getting more and more comfortable with him and my body with him everyday. I know I'm not totally exploring everything at once, but I'm starting to reach out of my comfort zone of what I'm used to. I've started touching him and rubbing him and just feeling over him. Anyways, enough talk of that before I start thinking bad thoughts. I started rubbing his cock and began to realize I was getting turned on. He was slowly falling asleep because my rubbing felt so good. I couldnt believe that it would feel good enough to fall asleep, but I guess it did.
    The rubbing soon lead to the two of us messing around. It felt so good having his fingers in me. He started and then all of a sudden he stopped, leaving me incredibly turned on. We lay there cuddling together watching tv when I started laughing. All of a sudden I accidentally farted. I couldnt believe it! I felt so embarassed that this had just happened and his reaction was to bust out laughing, almost falling out of the bed. I felt so embarrassed, but he said it meant I was truly comfortable enough around him to let that happen. I guess that is true, but I told him I honestly didnt mean for that to happen. After laughing about it, he had me laughing when another one slipped through. This embarrassed me even further. Another few minutes later and a third one slipped through. He was rolling laughing this time and all I coud do was laugh and hide my head because I was so shocked. I couldnt believe it had just happened. Well, he told me yet again it meant I was comfortable around him. I am comfortable around him, but I also just felt embarrassed that I had farted so loud. Oh well, I guess it was going to happen sooner or later.
    Last night ended amazing and I passed out after being hyper as could be for a good bit. It felt so amazing passing out in his arms again after not being able to sleep the night before. It was crazy and I was glad for the peaceful nights sleep. Today just seemed to get here too soon though. I remember waking up to hearing Jimmy in the bedroom telling him that he needed to get up that it was 930. I couldnt believe he was in there so early, but I didnt hear him enough to wake up. I went back to sleep and woke up to him kissing me this morning. I sort of felt the first few kisses, but then the last ones I felt woke me up. It felt so amazing being woken up with good morning kisses and tickling. I loved it!
    The morning started off crazy and hectic after I raced to get a shower to shave and make sure everything was okay for today. I couldnt believe the day was already here that he would get to see me all dressed up. I threw on some regular clothes because we were going to be running around all over until later today when we would change real fast at Kevin's before the wedding and before grabbing the second batch of chicken from Zaxbys.
    We headed off to our first stop for the day, Kohl's. It was funny because we had to get a new pair of pants and a belt for him. Shopping for belts was a little funny because he told me that he likes the wider belt. I couldnt believe it, but it made me laugh. The other funny thing was when we were pulling into the parking lot of Kohl's there was a license plate that said OBDNCE and I showed him and we both busted out laughing. It was hilarious to see random things like that because they can be taken in a totally different direction then what they are meant for.
    After getting out of Kohl's we grabbed some subway and headed to get the cake. I couldnt believe that I was eating a whole entire footlong. It seems that my appetite lately since I have been down here, or well at my grandparents really, has picked up and I'm eating a lot more but I'm still losing weight. I think it is because I'm still as active as I was before, but am eating more healthy and more times then just once a day like I was before. I hated doing that, but when you have the split shifts like I did and no money to eat lunch in between---you do what you gotta do.
    The cake place was amazing as we walked in. The cake we picked up looked absolutely beautiful and I couldnt believe this little hole in the wall place made it. It was definitely one of those mom and pop places, but they get their business by word of mouth. It was funny because me and him were talking about that. We both agree that it's better to get business for a place like that with word of mouth because then they are true customers and not people who are just drawn by the flashy showiness of the people like those shown on the show "Cake Boss". I loved how the cakes looked and just how creative these people were. It was funny because they were so afraid of the cake messing up, saying it would fit in the floorboards of my car, but I can understand that because they care about the cakes they make.
    AFter dropping off the cake at the barn, we headed off to grab the Zaxbys chicken and then back to Kevin's place to change. It seemed these errands were making the day fly by, but it also seemed going slow as can be too. I couldnt believe how many things he had to do today, but I was glad that I could help him out as much as possible. I was excited for him to see me dressed up. It seemed that he really liked it as he looked at me all dolled up. I was worried that I wouldnt look good or that my makeup would look like crap, with me only using a little bit, but he loved it. He told me that I looked sexy and that he liked how my makeup and everything was done. I knew my feet were going to be killing me after a few minutes with the shoes on though, but to me it's all worth it to look good for him and be there standing next to him looking good too.
    The wedding preparations right before was crazy. He had so many things that he got put in charge of and I ended up getting tasked with things too. I had to find people and tell them to be certain places, direct people to sign . I couldnt believe the guest book, direct people which way to go for the food, helped him with drinks, and just helped out where I was needed. I like helping out any way I can and I felt bad for him  because it seemed he had so many tasks to do that had him going twenty million directions at once. I couldnt believe how amazing it was meeting his family and friends. They are all kind of crazy in their own unique way, but they are also cool and funny and just seem to be so much fun to hang out with most of the time.
    Well after getting all those things done, it was time for the wedding. He looked amazing as he helped in the procession of pushing Nanna down the aisle. I couldnt believe how amazing all the guys looked and then when Shantelle came out---I was in shock. She looked absolutely gorgeous and her dress looked absolutely beautiful. I agree with the thought or saying (whichever one it is) that every bride glows on their wedding day. She was glowing as she tried so hard not to cry. It was really beautiful and I loved watching every minute of it. It gave me quite a few ideas for when I get married, but knowing me they may change between now and then,
    After the wedding, there was a time for cutting the cake and eating and everything else. It was a crazed haze of activity and I'm glad I have him to take care of me when I dont realize things could go bad for me. Like as it got later and later at the party, I hadnt eaten anything since lunch and neither had he. He had drank probably about 3/4 of the Mountain Dew I had gotten him. Between drinking a little bit of that and some fruit, my sugar level was maintained for a little bit but I felt light headed again a short time later, almost to where I felt like I was going to just pass out (kind of felt like getting suddenly tired to me---it was like I got tired all of a sudden). He grabbed me by the hand and led me outside to get air, which helped a lot. I guess that's what I needed. I felt bad because he was taking care of me, but I know there will be moments when he will be taking care of me instead of me taking care of him.
    RElaxing and grabbing air, we headed back inside before leaving to hear the speech Shantelle's dad made. It was a beautiful speech and he almost lost it towards the end. After the speech it was time for the couple's first dance, daddy daughter dance and a mother and son-in-law dance. The son-in-law dance ended up changing to an everyone help them out dance. The funny thing was that it was the Cupid Shuffle dance. I love this song and would dance to it every chance I get. I looked at them and was waiting to go out, when I looked back at him. It was almost as if I was asking him permission in my mind. I dont know why I looked back at him, but I saw him nod telling me to get out there. It was so much fun and I shocked his grandpa by dancing and jumping in and just going with the flow. I think it shows I'm not afraid to just jump in on things and that I've gotten comfortable around his family and friends that I have met.
    Today ended with us grabbing some dinner at Chili's. It was so amazing going out to dinner all dressed up. I loved being dressed up because it's not often that I get to do it. I loved how he was dressed up too because he honestly looked sexy. Today has been such a long and exhausting day that I'm sure the two of us will probably do nothing except relax tomorrow. It felt so good to get home and relax with him that I cant wait to share a shower with him and just snuggle up to him. I think tomorrow I may be able to put more thoughts out from today, so who knows what else might come out tomorrow.

Learning the ropes can sure be fun sometimes....

Wow today just seemed to drag on, but in my opinion I'd rather have it drag on then fly by especially with me leaving later this month. I cant believe how amazing today went, but it was crazy hectic and started early this morning.
    Last night was another amazing night of fun and experimentation. It seems that with  my writing or somehow I am giving him ideas to use, although he already has a lot of ideas in his head as it is. I was having fun and brought out some old pictures and my yearbook to show him things from my past to give him ideas of what I was like in high school. The funny thing is that looking at all these pictures, I see who I used to be and I dont see the person I am now. It's like a totally different person from the girl I used to be----different hair, personality, and attitude. I have accepted who I am and am working on things to get to where i want to be. I love all the changes he has created in me as he has helped me realize more and more who my true personality is.
    Anyways, after showing him these we waited a little bit before I finally gave him his surprise. This was after waiting a little bit and talking with him about the old photos. I didnt know it, but I had made him feel a little jealous when he saw me with  my old boyfriends. I didnt mean to create these feelings in him because he is truly the only guy I love and have ever loved. In the past I thought I knew what love meant, but i really didnt. Looking back at it now I think it was more a strong infatuation with a person then loving them. I know I love him because I can only see myself with him and nobody else. I have found that when I'm out by myself or driving that I'm no longer looking at guys and thinking "he's cute" or "he'd make a good guy to date" because I have found that guy---him. He is amazing beyond words and I thank God every day that I'm blessed to have him in my life and so supportive of everything I do. I love knowing he is behind me in everything I do and always supports me and wants me to do my best and be happy. It's amazing having someone feel that way for the first time in a while in my life.
    I finally was able to give him the last part of his surprise. I had waited for our anniversary because I knew this was something that he would really love. It was something that I have never worn before and I knew it would be an amazing first for me to wear these outfits for him. I told hiim to close his eyes and choose a number because I wanted him to choose which one I wore first. He kept messing with me, telling me he wanted both but when I told him he couldnt have both he chose number two first.
    I couldnt believe it, but this had been bought in hopes to be worn someday for someone and today was the day! It was a polka dot bikini type lingerie top with a polka dot thong to match. I put it on while he kept his eyes closed and when I was done I turned on the light and told him to open his eyes. It was such an amazing feeling because he opened his eyes and all he could say was "wow" while staring at me in shock and amazement. I couldnt believe I was doing this for him, but I loved it. Wearing this little nightie made me feel so amazing that I loved it and hoped he liked seeing it on me. I was nervous wondering if I looked okay in it, but he reassured me that it looked really good on me and that I looked good.
    After receiving this encouragement I had to ask him to close his eyes again. It was amazing because I changed into my other nightie that had never been worn yet either. I had bought it for spur of the moment and partially because I thought it was cute, hoping for this one too it'd be worn for someone some day. I grabbed my black lacy thong and put it on with this black lacy nightie. I liked this one because it made easy access for everything. You could either tie it closed or clip it closed, but either way it opened quite easily providing access to my boobs. I loved it and the way it made me feel, because it made me feel extremely girly wearing it. He opened his eyes again and was put into shock yet again as he saw his other surprise. He was grinning as wide as could be and I couldnt believe it. He was loving this outfit too.
    He loved both outfits, but having to choose one that he liked better, he chose the polka dot one. I loved this one better too because it seemed just a little bit more girly to me. I had to go to the bathroom but after I got back, I changed back into the polka dot nightie. I think he really loved this one because it provided easy access and was cute. I loved it too.
    I couldnt believe how amazed he was with the nighties, but I was glad that he loved the last part of his surprise. He was shocked, but in a good way and loved it. I think they really turned him on seeing me like this to versus my normal pajama pants and tshirt because his hands were soon exploring.
    I found myself being undressed on the bed. I began slowly kissing down his body starting from his neck down to his cock. It was an amazing feeling when I got down there and began licking and sucking on him. I could feel him pulsing in my mouth and becoming harder. Before I got too far along, he had me move back up his body kissing him as I came back up. When I got back up there, he grabbed me and moved to place me on top of him. I couldnt believe how different it was with him moving into me this time. It hurt a little bit more, but I think this was because it caught me by surprise or I wasnt relaxed. I soon relaxed and began to go with the flow.
    As things progressed it seemed as if he couldnt get into me. I'm not sure what happened, but I rolled with what he did. After a few minutes I was pulled off of him and moved halfway down the bed. He pulled my legs apart and moved in between my legs. He placed himself in my mouth and moved down to lick and suck me. I couldnt believe how amazing this felt as his hands moved in and out of what was probably dripping wet pussy. He was eating me out and it felt so amazing. I remember licking and sucking faster with him in my mouth, hoping he would continue to do what he was doing the faster I licked and sucked. It felt so good!
    Then he moved off me and moved in between my legs. Before too long I found myself experiencing some more new things. He grabbed the bandanas and tied the two of them together. I had been guessing all day that I was going to be gagged, but it wasn't 100% sure. He had been joking around with me throughout the day putting it against my mouth, but I knew then thats what it was. He tied them together and then placed it on my mouth. I have to admit that I liked this and it turned me on a little bit more. I like having it every now and then because then I dont care about getting loud, although I didnt before because I knew that he would stop me if I got too loud too. Anyways...he tied that on me and I admit that I was turned on even more by being gagged. It made me feel like I was that much more helpless and submissive to him because I was at his will and mercy.
    His fingers found both holes and began moving in and out in unison. I was so glad that I had the gag in because i was close to screaming in ecstasy. I found myself almost coming out of my body not once but twice during this entire process. It felt so amazing and it seemed that he rolled me into one after the other orgasm. I cant even remember how many happened, but all I know is that it felt so amazing what he was doing. Part way through the gag was taken out and I then had to use the pillow because the gag wasnt blocking enough sound. I couldnt believe how loud I was getting. I know he likes hearing me get loud and I unconciously am trying to get louder for him. I'm tryiing but I'm not trying if that makes any kind of sense.
    Well after finishing, I was dressed again and back in my nightie and pajama pants this time. I gave him a back massage and calmed him down. All of that seemed to wear me out as we went back to watching softball games. We caught the GA vs Washington game and it was a good fought game. I ended up getting sleepy before the very end and passed out on him. I couldnt believe I fell asleep before him, but I was trying to stay awake so that I could finish watching the game with him. I felt bad and wished I hadnt, but I also know it happens. I had bad dreams last night and tossed and turned all night. I know the worst part of my dream was that I wanted him and couldnt find him in my dream. It was weird, but I hated it.
    Anyways, the night finished and today started. I woke up to his kisses telling me that he was leaving and if I was going with him I better get up and get dressed. My mind was still foggy and in a haze when I got up and began dressing. I grabbed random clothes, not really thinking anything out and threw my hair up in the car. We headed to the barn to help get a few things done before the rehearsal dinner tonight. I couldnt believe that tomorrow is the wedding. I'm excited and so nervous for him to see me all dressed up. I hope that I look good for him and I cant wait to see him all dressed up.
    Back to the helping....we finished there after talking about a few things and headed out. We grabbed some lunch and headed to pay his cell phone bill. Today was a mostly relaxful day as we hadnt really planned on doing anything until the rehearsal dinner. After finishing lunch, which I was surprised that I ate an entire foot long and a bag of doritos too, we relaxed and played on the computer. We ended up having to sit outside for a little while because my computer couldnt pick up any kind of signal in his room, or well it could but it didnt hold it very long. It was so nice sitting outside on the front porch with him. We looked at random pictures on my friends facebook and I found myself laughing at some of them because they had the lifestyle in them. It was funny. I loved every minute spending time with him and was glad today went well.
    After spending the afternoon relaxing, it was time to head out for the rehearsal dinner. I was expecting it to go somewhat like my sister's did, but this one wasnt even close. I met a good bit of people, but couldnt remember a lot of names just yet. We ate an amazing dinner of parmesan chicken, although I do admit that it isnt as good as his macaroni and cheese and ham. Those two beat the parmesan chicken hands down, but shhh its a secret. It was hilarious because a couple people commented on how I was being so helpful and getting food and plates for Ricky. It blew people away because they are so used to the "fend for yourself" attitude, but they might as well get used to it because that is how I am and that is how our relationship is. I take care of him and make sure things are taken care of with him. Although at one point during dinner, I almost got myself into trouble because I was arguing with him. I know I shouldnt have done that, but sometimes I just do it out of habit. I think after today and almost getting into trouble its a habit that needs to be broken.
    Dinner came and went and it was time for the rehearsal itself. We had to wait about an hour and a half or so after eating for the preacher to show up. It was fun watching all the different people talk about all the different ways that things should be done. I was going crazy and wanted to say something, but I held my tongue. It just to me felt that things should be done how the bride and groom want to do it not everyone else. The wedding party had to practice marching up and down the aisle about three to four times. It was crazy watching them practice so many times because they were walking too fast, or chairs and other things were moved out of the way. I couldnt believe it and would have been frustrated if I was the bride with everyone voicing their opinions on what should go where.
    After the rehearsal was over, it was time to go home. I cant believe what a long day today has been and I know tomorrow is going to be even longer with all the running around I have to do with him. I am ready for it though because I'm ready to see him all dressed up and he gets to see me all dressed up too. We came home and it seems that both of us are tired after today. I have a feeling were going to be tired from tomorrow too.
    It was amazing today talking with him about weddings and all. I admitted to him that I wasnt like all the other little girls and dreamed about what her wedding would be like when she married. Mostly this was because when I was about eleven or twelve, my parents told me that whenever I got married I was on my own. This left me thinking that I wouldnt be able to afford all the fancy dresses or catering or anything like that. Telling him this, he told me to start dreaming even though things wouldnt happen for a while. I cant believe it, but he said to dream and all. I am not sure at all what I would put into my wedding or all, but I'm sure when it gets closer I can think about it more but for now it's more vague ideas in my head.
    I must also admit that I hope tonight that I didnt upset him like I did last night. I had my internet suddenly start working and sign me into my yahoo messenger. My messenger had popped up and people that I had deleted last time i had installed messenger had popped back on. There were a couple that I randomly talked to, but it was rare and few moments. I havent really talked to anyone in the lifestyle since I have found him except my sub friends. I just to me it feels almost like I'm betraying him in a way by having a dom friend. I know that friends are okay, but to me I guess it may seem like something else with me talking to them. After today, I can see that and realized that there are still some things that I need to edit out of my old self and life. I am still working on cleansing things, but some things I just keep missing. I feel bad when something like that happens because I just hope he knows that no matter what since the get go he has been the only guy for me and always has been. I love him so much and dont ever want to  lose him or put that in jeopardy. I think when I get a chance I am going to do another major cleansing of profiles and messenger. I swear I got it but sometimes you miss some things, much like that picture of a certain someone I got that he told me I had missed.
    I still cant believe how blessed I am to have him in my life. There were so many obstacles that I thought would stand in the way of any kind of relationship with anyone---my parents, me being assaulted, and even me leaving for the military being the biggest part. However, he has openly accepted it and has welcomed every thing into his life too. He has helped me overcome my problems and shown me that things are that big to stress or worry about them. I love being around him because I'm not stressed out or anything because I dont have to hide who I am from him. He knows everything about me, the good and the bad and the in between and doesnt care about it because he loves me.
    It was amazing hearing him tell me that even if I wasnt into the lifestyle that he would still love me. I couldnt imagine being happy with anyone else because I love him with all my fiber and being. He is my whole world and my Master. Which speaking of the lifestyle, I kind of wish it was just us staying together, but I know that's okay and there will be in time. I  also know that there are going to be little things that I have to learn how to do for him, but I love doing what I'm able to do for him right now. I just hope that I can learn things the way he wants them done and do them and make him proud. I have made quite a few mistakes so far and I really do hope to learn from them. I know it's a learning process in the beginning and that is how you grow, which is why I'm so happy that he is so understanding and patient while also being firm and strict when he was to be too. I'm curious what other new things I'm going to learn about myself and how much further my limits can be tested to see how far I can go. Whew...tomorrow---such a long day but worth it to be able to dance with him and to get all dolled up for him.

Surprises Galore :)

Today just couldnt have gotten anymore amazing then it was. I had so much fun today and it was just the start of the day. I got to spend the whole entire day with him and even got to watch him cook. It was an amazing day in my book and life just seems to be so great because despite the potholes I hit, well just small roadblocks to getting a couple things done, he was there the whole time telling me not to worry that we would find a way to fix it.
    The day started off completely amazing. Well, before I talk about this morning I have to mention last night. I let him read the poem that I wrote him and I almost cried when he told me he loved it and it was so great. He even wanted to print it out and hang it up. I write a lot and that is how I express a good bit of my emotions from rage to hate to sadness and love. It's a way that I can express how I truly feel on the paper without anyone condemning or judging me and I love it. Well, I let him read it and I was thinking to myself that I hoped it wasnt too much for him. I have written a couple poems in the past for other people and it just seems like they could care less about it all and just discarded it aside. For him to say that he absolutely loved it and that he wanted to hang it up meant the world to me. I had written him how I truly felt because there was just no poem that I found that told him what was going on. It was a truly amazing feeling knowing that he really liked something I did that came from the heart.
    After letting him read that, we snuggled up a little bit. I can honestly say that even if nothing happened between me and him sexually at times, I would be completely content to just lay with him and snuggle. It is such an amazing and peaceful feeling when I'm laying down in his arms. It's like I know that he will keep me safe no matter what, although he may torture me or tease me, it is for fun and out of love. It's not meant to harm me or break me down or with an ill intent. I love him so much and have never felt as safe as I do now with him since the night of the assault. It seems that all my feelings about that have disappeared when I'm around him and I'm not afraid. His arms comfort me and let me know that he will be there and protect me even as I sleep. I love falling asleep snuggled into his arms.
    I was rubbing his chest and had slowly progressed lower to rubbing up on him. I dont know why but something just attracts me to him and I love his cock like I love him. It's a part of him and I know either way it can bring me pleasure or pain or a mixture of both depending on whether I have been good or not. It seems he felt I was being a naughty girl and leaned over to the side of the bed where I had placed the bandanas earlier. It didnt quite sink in to me just what he was grabbing, but when he came back holding one of them, my eyes probably got wide real quick. I was nervous at what he was going to do with them, but I also felt myself getting excited that he was going to use them on me. I got a little more excited when he pulled my left hand up and began tying it to the bed. I knew he was fixing to have some fun with me since my hands were now being taken out of the way. He tied both my hands to the headboard and it seemed like I went nuts. His hands were roaming all over my body, feeling me, teasing my nipples. His kisses seemed possessive, as if he was letting me know all over again that I was His.
    After letting me know I was His, he began spreading kisses all over my body and then began fingering me and playing with me. I couldnt believe how amazing it felt with his fingers playing on me like I was a fiddle. After letting me cum the first time, he left the room and left me tied to the headboard feeling a little exposed with the door open. A few minutes later, he came back in with an evil grin and I knew exactly what he had gone to get---ice cubes. I was definitely in for some more fun, somewhat evil and good fun but still fun. The ice cubes were run all over my body and I felt myself get closer to cumming again. After allowing me to cum, I felt myself slowly come back down again and settled down. It was crazy, but I loved every minute that he was playing with me because he makes my body and mind do things that I never thought would happen. He calmed me down and snuggled with me as I felt so good.
    We snuggled for a little while, but it seemed this led to some more playing around. I had already changed into my pajamas, but they soon came off or at least the bottoms did.     Well, I had to say my pajama bottoms didnt fully come off until after my spanking though. I had gotten two hits already for our anniversary but that was when he said that I could go ahead and get my punishment over if I wanted. I waited and let him make that choice, not moving and hoping that he could see that I would much rather get it over with as soon as possible. The guilt was hanging over me like a cloud and I was desperate for some relief from it. The pajama bottoms were pulled down and I got my first 25 hits from him barehanded. They were light because he said that I was going to be getting 15 hits from the belt on top of that. I couldnt fathom what the belt was going to feel like, but I began to mentally prepare myself for it.
    After a few seconds, he got up and grabbed the belt and my heart instantly began to beat faster. I knew what was coming and I willed myself to hold still and not cry out from it. I placed my hand over my mouth to keep myself from calling out as I received the hits. It seemed the first ten hits were all on one side and then shifted to my left side. I was so amazed that I was taking this as well as I was, but I didnt want to move and get in further trouble because I moved during my punishment. I felt the hits sting my skin and was counting in my head each and every one of them. The last stroke seemed to come down heavier then all the rest, but I knew it was kind of a punctuation to remind that this was a punishment. I know I kind of liked pain, but this was too much for me. I was almost to the point of tears when the punishment was finally over. I have never felt so relieved as it seemed a sense of relief washed over  me as i had been punished for my smart comment and I could forget about what I had done before. It was in the past now and i could move on and learn not to do it again.
    I lay there after the spanking for a few minutes getting my breathing back. I couldnt believe that my ass was stinging as bad as it was, but I knew it would be a reminder tomorrow. I have been doing really well at holding my smart comments back, but I really do hope that I dont slip again because I know the punishment will only be harsher next time. He slowly began fingering my lips and began moving his fingers in and out. I couldnt believe how good it felt and my mind began to slowly lose the fact that my butt was still burning. I felt myself willing him to go more and more.
    The next surprising time came when he began to finger my ass. it felt so good and all I could do was push myself backwards, almost as if I was silently asking for more. I had my face buried in the pillow and blanket where I laid because I knew that I was getting loud and didnt want to get too loud. I felt myself getting close and was allowed to cum after a short time. I couldnt believe how amazing this felt and it was so wonderful a feeling after my punishment. He knows so much about me and my buttons and which ones to push at different times. I love how he knows me so well in my mind, heart, body and soul. He knows my different responses to things and can tell me what to do for when.
    I lay there snuggling with him after he finished and had helped me put my clothes back on. I ended up changing out of my pants and shirt into a pair of his pants and shirt because mine had gotten wet from the fun with the ice cubes earlier. It was so amazing laying there with him and all I remember is passing out asleep after him telling me that he had just as much fun playing with me. I remember admitting to him though one of my thoughts from when he was playing with me---the thought of craving his touch and more of him that I was ready to ask him to just "please fuck me" as what I would have said if I could have formed words.
    Anyways, I fell asleep that night cuddled up in his arms and slept another peaceful nights sleep. It was a comfortable peaceful night sleep. I dont know why but i woke up in a playful mood this morning. I think his tickling did it or something. I got up and was going to make a dash for a place to hide, but with my back turned to the door it made it a little hard to open. I couldnt open it, but instead got pinned against the door by him. I had my hands held up over my head and he began to tease me and kiss me. I couldnt help it, but he was turning me on and tormenting me at the same time.
    After playing with me and letting me loose, I grabbed my clothes and the bathroom stuff and headed for the bathroom. I was excited that we were going to be able to take a shower togther this morning. I love them because it's just something about being able to see and help wash the other person. It felt so amazing with his hands washing my body with the new body wash. I love it because it makes my skin feel silky smooth and at the same time it felt good all over my body with his hands. I just cant believe all the sensations that have been going on in my head throughout the shower. There were so many amazing kisses and touches. It felt so great as his fingers began playing with me again and I felt myself wanting more, but knew more would come when he wanted and not when I wanted it to happen.
    After the shower, we both got dressed and ready for the day. We had a few errands to run and money to put in my account. It was so much fun running around and taking care of errands with him. I love spending time with him, but I love getting out and taking care of business too. It makes me feel, not sure quite how to describe it, but the feelings are amazing. I guess the best word to describe it is accomplished when I start ticking things off on that list of things to be done. The funniest thing was when I drove for a few brief minutes. He was flipping out and joking with me that he was too young to die. I told him my style of driving was different and I'm used to driving to get to places quickly no matter what kind of traffic or anything else. It was amazing to drive, but I really do like that passenger seat much better.
    Anyways, after we got back, we started the stuff for dinner and began relaxing. Today just couldnt seem to get any better. Although I have to say all this teasing today is driving me nuts with all the pent up frustration inside of me. Its okay though because I know it will come out at some time, just not of my own choosing. I am laughing though because today he seems to be fascinated with holding one of the bandanas over my mouth. I'm wondering if his evil idea for the night is to try out a gag. I'm not too sure but I find myself curious about that. I think too and have realized, I wonder if it would work as a blindfold since the material is kind of see through. I didnt check that when we were at the store, but who knows it might. I guess I'll find out when the times comes. I'm just curious what is in store for tonight because I know that I'm for sure in a playful mood, but I doubt that I can play hide and seek tonight...although I just may try ;)
    Tonight has been so amazing with me taking care of things all day from making sure we got certain things done to getting the dishes and laundry done all day. I love the way it makes me feel and I love doing. I know in the future that I would love to be one of those stay at home moms/wives, but who knows. I know sometimes in today's society that's not possible, but it'd be amazing. I love just doing all those tasks because they really do make me feel like a house wife, or not sure what else you'd really call it. It also makes me submissive because I am the one taking care of everything and just because it's the stuff i have to do everyday. I love it and wouldnt want it any other way taking care of these things.
    I cant wait to give him his last surprise for the night, but I'm kind of wondering when to do it. I think that I am going to do it later tonight to give time and make sure it's just us and he likes it. I hope he likes it because it is more of a visual surprise. This one I could have given to him earlier, but I'd much rather wait to give him this one until tonight. It is a great surprise, but I have to decide which one would work----one or the other or both. Hmm...I guess I'll let him decide.
    I cant wait to see what else the future holds for me, but I also have to admit that I cant believe as of today I have officially been His for two months. It feels like yesterday, but I love every minute that I spend with him. I know sometimes I will get into trouble or have times where I get mad or frustrated and my emotions get the best of me, but I know he will be understanding about it and judge in the best interest of me. I know he wont punish me other then to teach me a lesson and guide me, much like he did last night. I only dont hope that I have to learn my lessons the hard way, I'd rather learn them the easy way. I'm just glad he's there with me in my life because things are going so amazing and I'm finding out so much about myself. I dont think I have ever been this truly happy, but I wouldnt trade the time I spend with him for all the money in the world.