Normally I tend to write about my feelings and emotions and what happens throughout the day, but for some reason i cant really think of a lot and feel more about doing this. I have a feeling that i will share some more feelings after i put this in there, but for now i feel led to put this song in here. It means so much to the two of us because of all that our pasts have led us to go through. Now i know that i dont know everything that happened in His past, nor do i think that i want to know everything. This doesnt mean that im not interested in His past period, it's just there are some parts that are better left not told. Just the same with me i believe, there are parts of my past better left untold. Now this being said there are no secrets between me and Him and if He ever wanted to know anything, i would openly share it with Him but not unless He asks about things. Anyways, the song that i'm talking about is a country song as the two of us are plain ol' country folks, lol. Well, we're not old but you get the point i'm sure. It reminds the two of us that sometimes you have to be thankful when your prayers arent answered.
I hear this song and i think so many times that i prayed that this person would be the one that i wanted to be with. Now that i'm with Him, i see just how lucky i am that those prayers were never answered. I am so lucky to have Him in my life and i thank God everyday for giving me this amazing man to be my Master, love, and best friend. He is the only man that i could ever see myself with and find myself falling in love with Him everyday. Much like this next song says...
Falling in love again
He makes me fall in love with Him again over and over every day that we are together. He never cares what other people think about the two of us and we can be riding down the road goofing off together. I honestly dont think i ever would have found a man who would be fine with listening to me singing Barbie Girl while driving down the road and dancing to it as we're driving. Although in all honesty this song has hints of BDSM lifestyle in it, especially when it says "you can brush my hair, undress me everywhere" or "i'm a blonde little girl in the fantasy world, dress me up make it tight im your dolly" or the best is "make me walk, make me talk, do whatever you please, i can act like a star, i can beg on my knees". I find these lines hilarious because they make me think of the lifestyle with those and little girls everywhere are singing this song, not even realizing what it is saying.
I just cant believe that Monday is coming around so soon and I will have to leave His arms to go and take care of my duty. I say that i'm not thrilled to be leaving His side because i have become so accustomed to life with Him and how things have been that it's going to be hard to get into the swing of things. I know i will be pushing myself and making myself better for both Him and me. It's not just about me now and it allows me to take that step into adullthood. I feel like lately i have been stationary, which He has said that same thing. It will be amazing when i reach the end of the training and get that huge bear hug as i'm back in my arms.
The downside to the day was that i have banged myself up so much that it left me down and depressed. I scratched the back of my leg and His family's house, got beamed in the knee with a baby doll when we were playing, and then already scratched on my arm, hit my head while getting my shoes on to go out, and then in the process of going out had two cars decide they want to hit me. One of them would have majorly won the fight because it was a Dodge truck jacked up. It was comforting knowing that He was there to bandage these hurts and pains, but i still feel helpless when i get banged up or hurt and He takes care of me. It's not that i dont like Him taking care of me, but it should be the other way around. It's also that i hate the fact that i just hurt myself today and felt so down. I hate seeming like a baby.
The fun part of today and i will forever remember this and it will for sure be my happy thought was the two of us going on a walk around the neighborhood. He was laughing at me as we walked and talked about things. It's amazing having Him tell me that He feels the same and has to pinch Himself to see if He is sleeping too. It's crazy knowing that i'm not the only one feeling as though this is a dream and i'm going to wake up tomorrow realizing i havent found my perfect man and Master. He really is amazing and i wouldnt want Him any other way. As we were walking, we stopped in the park and sat on the swings. I felt amazing and it was almost as if i was a kid again. Yet another cool factor to being able to goof off with Him. We talked and were joking about how He wants to be in shape and everything to be able to build a swingset for kids. I asked Him if He wanted the six pack abs, which i got told no He just wanted to be in shape. I understand this and in all honesty i could care less about if He changes or not because He is amazing just the way He is. He could take off His shirt right now and build the swingset and I would be completely fine with it and think He was sexy. He is sexy to me and i love it. I love the way He looks at me with love in His eyes and it's just like His eyes say it all---good or bad. I just hope He realizes just how much i love Him and feel so lucky to have Him in my life. He is truly amazing. :) Okay...enough oohing and aahhing over Him and to spending time with my Master and best friend before i leave on Monday. I'm taking all the time i get with Him....