Friday, December 3, 2010

LONG but great day

   Today was an amazing day for the most part. It was a very LONG day but one that i wouldnt change for anything in the world other then a couple things. I also cant believe how much closer it is to me being back home and back in Master's arms. I feel so close, but yet so far away from those arms that i need around me and long to have wrapped around me again.
   So the first part of good news i received today was that my whole fiasco with the LOR was recinded. I guess thats another fancy word for revoked because it is now as if i hadnt gotten into any trouble. The letter i wrote as a rebuttal to my  LOR was really good for the captain to read so i was excited about that. He seemed to really like it and saw things ffrom my point of view. Although after talking with Master and coming to some realizations on my own, i did realize that the way i went about things was a little bit wrong and in the future i will handle something like that quite differently. I am still learning how to deal with things in my own way and the adult way because like i always say, i have had to fight tooth and nail for everything so its different learning that other people will help you get things back if something is taken and all.
   So along that line, i got my phase back tonight as well which means i can wear normal clothes outside of duty hours instead of having to wear my uniform 24/7 being outside my room and not being allowed to have my phone on me. Yesterday when ttaking care of things after duty, it felt like the longest time andi  felt so lost without being able to text Master. Being here, i have found that my phone is the greatest lifeline i have to Him. It helps keep me sane when the world around me is going crazy.
   The last happy thought for today was that we got our orders today. Well, about half of us got them and i wasnt supposed to be in the half that did but somehow i magically got them. Next week is going to go crazy hectic from early morning appointments to take care of outprocessing and late nights to where we have to take care of our duty days. I cant believe my duty days will last until bus pick up at 2200 but it is well worth it to finish up those last two days of doing it to make it to graduation.
   I cant believe graduation is finally here but it was well deserved. I have no lie worked my butt off to get where i am and proved to everyone that i belonged here. Being on the smaller side and not as easily able ot run as others, it seemed that i was weak. I worked hard and showed that yes i may run slow but i can still keep up and i will try my hardest to keep running with everyone else. i refuse to give up and Master knows this character trait all too well(it sometimes rears its ugly head with Him).
   Today has been amazing and tonights errands were well needed. Just to get off base in regular clothes and take care of things that needed to be taken care of was an amazing feeling and long overdue after the trouble ive been having earlier this week. My goal is still and i will continue to do this, is stay in front of the formation so they can see im not an issue and just dont talk unless its part of the process for getting through the day. It makes things easier and i can also make sure that the LOR incident doesnt happen again. It should be good to go. 
   I cant wait until i get home to MAster  because He is in my thoughts so much more its crazy and i didnt even think it was possible. I find myself craving more and more that need for submission. Tonight Master asked me to ask Him to call someone back with saying it for Him. It is hard for me to do, and He knew this, but i feel weird asking and saying Master in public. There is definitely no shame of Him from me at all, but it is a barrier for me to cross. Something that i want to do and yes it may be hard but i can do it. I will get to the point one day where i wont care who hears me asking my Master to make a phone call and get off the phone with Him for a little bit to talk to someone else. Time is scarce with Him on the phone, but i treasure every minute. I just cant wait til the cabin even though i know its going to be torture but also craziness at the same time. Who knows, im sure there will be stories to tell after that weekend at the cabin just the two of us. Only 4 more days!!!!!!!!!!!

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