Saturday, October 20, 2012

Perfect storm of trouble....

   So it seems that things keep getting more complicated for me and i feel myself sinking down even further. I feel like a lamb being lead to the slaughter lately with everything happening all at once. Im questioning whether or not that I took on too much this semester with just having a baby, trying to be a perfect lil one for Master, keeping up with the dishes and other housework, dealing with work issues, and many other things.
    It seems that everytime i get caught up, things tend to go out of control again. I find myself not getting enough sleep for work, then when i get to work i can barely deal with the emotional and stress that comes with it, wanting to get some time to myself but hating that i feel like im never spending enough time with my own family, wanting more time as lil one with Master, just wanting to have more time in the lifestyle. There just seems to be no end to things and i am starting to feel more overwhelmed than ever.
    I have to bear some bad news to Master here shortly after the football game is over and im not sure how to do it. Either way im going to have to let Him know because there is no point in delaying it. The bad thing is that i've disappointed Him in the past and i almost lost Him at one point. My biggest fear is hearing Him say that He is putting me back under consideration instead of me being His lil one. Because i came so close to hearing that one night a few weeks ago, i fear that i may hear them again. Either way it is time for me to step up and hopefully he sees that i have taken steps to prevent it from happening again.
    Wish me luck and i think im going to have to take a hard look at things and take some things out until things smooth over.

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