Tuesday, April 13, 2010

I Know Its Late, but I Just Cant Sleep

   Wow, what a beautiful day and weather outside. I have to say though that last night things went amazing. There was so much fun and laughter and just me and him talked last night and it was so amazing. I cant believe how much I really do like him and have fallen for him. Me and him were talking last night and I confided in him just how I felt about things. I feel that I dont have to hide anytihng from him and that I can truly be myself around him. I dont have to worry about telling him something and him running. It was amazing because he reminded me that last night that he's not going anywhere and will be here for me. It's just like when I talk to him, its amazing because I know that he feels the same and understands what I'm saying. It's so cool and I love the feelings with him. I honestly and I swear I told him this last night that I am extremely afraid of losing him. I just love how he is so protective of me at the same time but also pushes me to be better too. I just love everything about the way he is with me and cant wait to see what his rules are and learn them in person.
            This morning started out really early with amazing weather. I left this morning at about eight to see my friend J off to basic training. I cant believe that he left today. We swore in on the same day and he's leaving before me. Oh well, i guess such is life. I sat with him and made it just in time to the processing station to hang out with him before he left. After getting there we hung out and talked and joked, with him doing his usual button pushing. It was hilarious because the other guy shipping out with him was talking about various things. It was so funny. I saw my recruiter today when he came to say goodbye to a couple of the guys. I thought it was funny that he shows up, I look over and there he is. Of course he asked me if I just like hanging out at the processing station, which l told him i didnt that I was watching a friend ship out. I said goodbye to J and I hope he does well in basic. I'm sure he will do fine, but I dont think he is totally prepared for the mind games they play. He may think he is, but I dont think he is.
          Well after that I left there and went to grab some lunch. I hung out at McDonalds and had some fun. I think those McDonalds people were wondering why this girl was sitting there for a good three to four hours. I played on my computer, checking out various banks to find one that has a branch in a majority of the states, but none of them had anything. I just am going to stick with my bank account. I just feel that it's better to go with that because you get the ATM fees back with it and there's no banking locations so I can use any bank I want. I love it. I think it will be easier anyways.
           While hanging out at McDonalds, I started getting myself into hot water by using my smart mouth. I asked about a banking location that was in a lot of places and he suggested BB&T. Well I had never heard of them so I asked him what they were and he responds with "a bank". Well I knew this so I kind of came back with a smart mouth comment. I realized what I did and apologized after he told me no smart mouth comment was needed. I really do need to get that under control, but I have a feeling it will be under control here sooner or later. I am happy though because I found out last night that I only have 10 bare handed spankings now instead of 40. I think I got them lowered(and realized this after talking with him) by being good and doing my journal every night on time like I should. I just after last night definitely dont want to forget to do it again because ten minutes of me sitting still while all hyped up on sugar did not work out so well. I almost got into a little more trouble by not sitting still.
         I have to say that I had an evil brilliant idea after talking with a friend today while he was gone away to his appointment. I was bored and talking with my dom friend about various things and mentioned that I was thinking about doing something I shouldnt. I was just in a trouble making mood. Well he made a few comments that gave me an evil genius idea, although it could be considered good or bad for me, but definitely leans more towards favor for him. I love having this secret with him so intrigued. It's amazing because I have a way to keep him curious although I know 100% for sure that he will get me to tell him sooner or later.
          After that, I headed to work and had some fun. I was delivering pizza for work and it was amazing. Tonight was a pretty slow night. i mean I took a few runs back to back to back, but still it was slow compared to others. I didnt make a lot of money, but I can understand thats to be expected. I only made about $21 for tips tonight. I cant wait to work tomorrow night because I'm sure with a lot of people going to church, theyre not going to have time to cook dinner. I love this split shift because I know this next check is going to be a good one.
        Tonight came with me heading home and it was so much fun. Not! I dont like the drive home alone too much, but oh well. It's worth the money for what I'm doing though. I get paid an hourly wage plus tips. I love it a ton!! I got home and decided on getting something yummy for dinner. I decided to cook shells and cheese and have some cookies. It was so good. It was funny though because tonight I was dressed in my work clothes and I usually dont like going into the store alone, but after our discussion last night I could care less. I didnt care what people thought of me or what I was wearing. I felt confident and knew that no matter what he didnt care what I looked like and that's all that matters.
           I cant wait to talk to him tonight. I just missed seeing him today and have realized that I dont care if I'm a little tired because in all honesty, I cant sleep without seeing him either. I also talked with my mom and just hate that things are the way they are. I talked to her long enough to get her to shoot me a message with the insurance information on it for work and to tell her that K probably wont be going into the military. Oh well. I do have to say that after today, watching all the loved ones tell each other goodbye that I really do hope that he will be there when I ship out. I told him and I hope he really does know that he is one person that I trust will be there because with my parents they may suddenly have something come up and decide that's more important then me leaving for the military. Oh well, I'm not going to brood on that very long. I'm learning to embrace how happy I am and I love how happy he makes me with everything. I cant wait to finally meet him and see how things go. I'm so anxious about it and excited because I really do want to see in reality what its like to be held in his arms because for now I only get to imagine it.

No comments:

Post a Comment