Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Grateful Beyond a Doubt...

Wow, today was a mixture of good, bad, and just infuriating mixture. It seems the days cant fly by fast enough now though. I cant wait to see what the rest of this week holds and whether I'm working next week or not.
    The day started with me waking up around 11ish. i just couldnt sleep last night and woke up off and on all night. I dont know why, but for some reason I just couldnt sleep last night. I tossed and turned all night long. I guess part of it was I wasnt tired and part of it was that I was missing him. It seems that whenever I'm away from him I have nights where I dont really sleep well. I think thats probably what it is.
    Anyways, I woke up and got up and got ready for the day. It was going to be a long day. I'm having fun here, but it seems to be totally boring to me and I'm just ready to go back home to work and kill time til I get to see him again. It's not that I dont love spending time with my grandparents, but with not having any kind of transportation to go anywhere and as opinionated as my grandpa is, it's hard to go somewhere and have fun.
    After getting ready for the day, I went in to see my grandpa. He was taking a nap til the dogs started barking and woke him up. It was crazy, but I felt bad that I had woken him up, even if I didnt do it on purpose. He suggested taking a drive and getting out. I couldnt believe it and was happy about it. I was ready to get out of the house and go out and it was even better when he said we were going to check out the BX and the commisary. I loved this because I was wanting to get something for him while I was down here anyways.
    We headed out and hand a nice drive down there after stopping for lunch. I was happy because it seemed that it was going to be a good day of having fun and just exploring with my grandpa. I knew it would be a long day because the drive to the base was about an hour and a half to two hours away. I couldnt wait though because I feel so safe and at home on base that it's just amazing to me.
    We got to the base and went to the BX. I was looking for something to get him and found something that I somewhat liked. I thought of getting him a teddy bear but wasnt sure. I saw the only cute one that I liked that said "Someone in the Air Force loves me". I couldnt believe how cute it was, but it would be true. I do love him and I would be in the Air Force. All I could find is a sticker for now, but I think once I'm in I'll have to make a blanket big enough that the two of us can snuggle up underneath it. I cant wait to be in that Air Force because I want him to be able to say that he has a girlfriend in the Air Force and all.
    Anyways....enough about dreaming about being in the Air Force and all. Although I must admit that I cant wait for him to see me in that uniform. I havent seen him in his uniform, but I know he looks hot in it. But anyways...lol I keep getting sidetracked. We finished up our shopping trip and headed back to the house. On the way home, my sister texted me saying that "hayes can go fuck himself. i cant get n2 the af according to him im gonna try talkin to a different recruiter he just pushed me to my limits". I couldnt believe this and sent her a reply back asking what he said and her reply back was "he said it is just gonna take him a while well the marine recruiter talked to him and he told them that the af wont accept me cause i dont have a high enough asvab score". I couldnt believe that she was acting so stupid and childish. I understand that she has to have a waiver for her eye sight, but she is expecting everyone to move heaven and earth for her and that she gets some sort of special treatment. It's just frustrating because she grew up having everything handed to her and now that she's on her own she expects the same kind of treatment. I feel bad that I'm a year and half, almost two years, younger then her and I'm more mature then her.
    After trying to think of what to say, because I knew she needed to hear the truth, I came up with a good response. I hated to sound completely witchy to her, but I knew she needed to hear this. She may hate me for it, but she needed to hear it. I sent her a text message response back with "well its quite possible that could be the case katlyn with all the pepole trying to get in...it might be a double bad with your eyes and your asvab score they want the higher asvab scores first and people who dont have to get any kind of waivers or anything...its like that with all branches and i hate to sound mean but i have a feeling you're going to get told that by another recruiter". I love her, but she assumes that she's the top stuff and is automatically allowed to get into the military.
    This was just frustrating because she had this self-righteous attitude. I thought on it and asked my grandfather (which this was a bad idea right here) if I was right on my path of thinking. I know sometimes I can be somewhat one minded, but I was pretty sure with the way things were going right now and how the military has stopped taking waivers because everyone is trying to get in that she should understand there's going to be a wait. Well, this lead to a huge argument between me and him. It started about how she could get into the Army if they badly needed people, but this was where I told him that even they quit taking waivers. Word had been passed down in chain of command to us (and this was same on both officer side as well as recruiting which is why I knew it was true) that the military was so well off from people joining that they quit doing waivers and were looking for people that didnt have problems that need fixing. I also began to explain that her asvab score is pretty low and she was about 5 or 6 points higher then the minimum score needed to join the Air Force. It was crazy.
    Well that part of the argument lead to another branch off. We began to argue over how I had no clue what I was talking about and that I was "full of shit" as my grandpa put it. I couldnt believe that he was accusing me of not knowing what I was talking about. He told me that most stuff you wont know about it unless you were pretty high up on the chain. The funny thing is, and I told him this, was that it had been announced on the news at one point in time, been on the internet site Military.com, and had been passed down to both ROTC members and the enlisted side as well. If I didnt know what I was talking about, then why would all these different sources be saying the same thing.
    I couldnt believe I was being called a liar by my grandpa. If I didnt know what I was talking about, I would admit it but here I had so many friends who are in different branches from Army to Navy to Marines and even Air Force. It's not like i know about just one branch only. It's just frustrating to me because it's not like I'm extremely one-sided but I couldnt believe he couldnt see I was right. I guess I should have known with how opinionated he was that I should have just left it alone at the beginning. However, I was looking for advice and on this he completely shut me down thinking things were still similar to how they were when he was in the military. I know it was calming to have him texting me. I would have gone off the deep end if he wasnt texting me and keeping me calm.
    I have to admit that I'm so grateful to have him in my life. There are so many different reasons why and I know that my feelings for him just continue to grow everyday. He makes me so happy and is the only one that can calm me down when I feel like I'm about to burst. I love him so much and there's just no words to describe the way he makes me feel. I love him and especially with the way he took care of me the other night after realizing what had happened. I love him so much and couldnt imagine being with anyone else. I know the future is going to be a long road, but i know with him by my side I can do anything.
    I cant wait for friday to come so I can find out whether I get to see him early or not. I cant believe that this week is almost done and either way if I get off or not I know I will be happy and able to wait. I just cant wait to be back in his arms and I'm excited to try that new barbecue place he was having me look up the other night. It seems that my desire to be with him and feel his touch, even if its simply him running his fingers over my body. I just cant wait. I love him so much and cant wait to hear his voice tonight before i fall asleep. He makes everyday bearable and I know I can get through whatever obstacle thats in my way.

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