Sunday, October 3, 2010

Hmm...wandering thoughts....

   So today has been the longest day and the most frustrating day ever!!! It was frustrating that today just decided to be crap, but also at the same time be awesome. I am glad that it is finally over, but hoping that next weekend will be better---especially since we have a 3 day weekend.
   This morning started out sucky...we had to fall out to take our pt test that we didnt take yesterday because our instructor stood us up. It seemed that this morning we were almost going to get stood up again. We waited about 40 minutes and come to find out, the instructor that was supposed to be doing our test was over with her flight on the other side. The funny thing was that we talked to the commander here and he was talking to us about pt and all. One of the girls called him a sergeant and we found out later that he was a colonel. I couldnt believe that we called him the wrong title, so we all decided that next time we talk to someone we are just going to stick with the typical Sir response. Lol.
     Commenting on that, i have to say that i think once i finally get to move in with my Master that He shouldnt have too much of a problem with me showing respect, aside from the rebel moments that i have every now and then. I still cant believe just how well this whole respect thing works with me. I miss Him, but i wonder if He notices any improvement of being more respectful and trying to be the good girl that He wants me to be and knows that i can be.
    Anyways, back to the day. So i finished my pt test and felt good about it. I couldnt believe that i did so well on it. I didnt lose or gain any time on my running. I wish i had lost time, but i think with help that i can get it done. I have no problem and with all the motivation that im finding around me(mainly from the males) is amazing. After last night's incident, i want nothing to do with most of the females on my team. I have decided to stay away from them because if i dont, i am liable to go off on them and say a lot of things that i have been holding in.
     Last night's events were quite complicated and it was a very tense situation. I have to say that i love my MAster because when i texted Him threatening that i was done, He became very concerned wanting to know what had happened. The females from my flight from basic were standing outside my room. They were talking with one of the females that i was rooming with and telling her how they felt sorry because i was her roommate. Then i heard them talking about how i dont shower, i would like soap up and then rinse under the water. Last time, i checked a lot of the other females did that. To speed up the process, because with basic you had about 10 minutes to shower about 50 females. It was crazy and we had it down to a science---5 minutes per bay or 5 minutes per 25/30 people. Anyways...i did shower and i did wash everyday during bmt. There were a few times that we all took a baby wipe shower, but it wasnt just me and it was because of time constraints to get things done. And im not justifying anything here, but for anyone who has been through basic in any branch of the military, i am sure that you can understand the whole limited time and lots of things to do. Not to say i was disgusting, but i was like everyone and smelled just as bad as them.
     Anyways back to the night, one of the girls had spread that there was an odor coming from me. in all honesty, i knew that because my shoes had started smelling a little bit. I knew it was bad and had already made provisions to get it taken care of. I had gone to the bx to get some stuff, but hadnt used it yet. I let her know earlier that i knew there was a problem and it was being remedied. I had already talked to Master and let Him know what the deal was and He instructed me on how to go about fixing it. For now, He is fully aware and it is taken care of. Anyways....right before our accountability, the girls were talking about me. I heard every word about how i was top bunk and the last night they were trying to figure out a way to drag me into the shower because i smelled and they were going to lock me in the latrine. Then i heard them saying about how i smelled so bad and had a wall of funk and everything else. I'm pretty sure i wasnt the only one that smelled horrible at basic. Just saying....but one of the girls came in and started spraying the room. She went to spray me and ended up spraying my other roomie. This pissed me off and at this point i was done with everything. I was ready to quit right then and there, but He talked to me and calmed me down. I grabbed my phone and shoes and left, after getting asked if it was okay to "spray (awkward pause) your area".
     I left and was in tears when i got to the hallway with the stairs. I stopped and my squad leader came to ask me what was wrong. Between him and my Master talking to me, i calmed down a little bit. I was still ready to call it quits when one of the females in charge came and asked me what was wrong. Explaing the situation to her, one of them went and talked to the females and told them to quit the teasing and harassing of me. If they did anymore of the crap that they pulled on my last night, they were going to get in major trouble and it would be taken to the instructor. The funny thing is that even one of my roomies today has noticed that the odor is going away. Like i said, hmmm how about instead of talking about me you come to my face!! But no these bitches (sorry Master i really dont mean to cuss it just is venting) just want to talk crap about me behind my back. I hate it and am so over the drama. There are few people i can trust here and that number seriously dwindled after last night. As far as the females go with that whole situation, i refuse to talk to any of them. This may seem childish for me to just ignore them, but my thought is that if they want to talk crap about me behjnd my back----i wont have their back anymore. yes i know we are a team that has problems, but if i cant even trust you to be at least civil to me both to my face and behind my back---how can i trust you on the battlefield when we're fighting and i need you to do something or tell you to do something? Are you not going to do it because "oh my goodness, you smell so im not going to listen to you or you act funny so im not going to listen to you". It kills me that people can be so immature and just childish and these are females that are my age or a little bit older. A few of them are 18 or 19 but still. It's crap expected from like a 6 or 7 year old, not a 19 or 20 something year old.
     So my night was very eventful after getting back to no power in our dorms and bitchy females that cant stand to do anything but talk about others behind their backs. Oddly enough one of the females talking crap and the one that accidentally sprayed my roomie when she meant to spray me  is the same one sleeping with another male on the team. I find it ironic and funny that some of the females on my team are sleeping around with the males. Sucks to be you because i actually have a life and hold myself to a higher standard then you. You view me as someone who is someone easily made fun of or mocked because yes i am passive in personality in real life(im hoping military training might help this with meeting people), but you are the one acting like a common slut or whore who doesnt even take care of herself. Imagine how many diseases or STDs you could get by sleeping from guy to guy. I'm sorry that you have to debase yourself to the lowest of low level just to feel loved and wanted. It's a shame that you'll never know the love and feeling of trust and affection and just the bond that i have with my Master. How proud will you be to admit to your future partner that you slept with 20 different guys while in tech school??? Not at all, it will be a secret you'd want to hide. So shut up and quit you're bitching about the things that i do because im sure on the spectrum of good and bad, mine falls way up there towards the good and your choice is down there right with the people who are cheaters(oh wait you are a cheater too) and the people who lie and steal. So have fun and enjoy your crappy life when you leave here with all sorts of disease and end up losing your job. I'll be here laughing.
     So enough venting on that, its done and dealt with and im actually happy with my roomie situation right now. The one that was a complete witch last night and instigating it all has turned around and was nice. She hasnt apologized to me, but at least she is understanding of the odor and was offering advice(just an update there is no more odor after putting some more powder in my shoes----now mandatory rule for myself to put it in after everytime i take them off.
     The rest of the day went crazily with car looking and contemplating and struggles. I felt bad because i know Master wishes He could help me out, but i understand Him being in a similar situation to mine. He doesnt have really great credit and cant cosign with me. Well my parents told me today that they refuse to sign with me because they didnt do it for my siblings. Its like they cant do it, but they want me to wait until i get home and save up some money and then we can go looking. I'm sorry but im not doing this car buying alone, despite what you think. I wish i had someone that understands what my position is and could just help me out by cosigning with me for a freaking car. How hard is it??? Well apparently with my luck its as hard as can be to get someone to do that. So today has been frustrating.
     Anyways, today has been the longest day ever. I am ready to call it a day and actually get some sleep despite the fact that 5 am comes too soon. Although i am digging living closer to where everything happens for us bcause it means a little bit more sleep time....thank goodness. Here's to a better week then last week and hopefully not having to show up for an accountability next weekend. :D

No comments:

Post a Comment