Tuesday, October 19, 2010

I feel like a grownup today :D

   Today has officially made me feel like a grown up if i didnt before. i took a big step into being an adult today....i finally bought a car. i feel so proud of it because it is a big step into the future. It brings a whole new freedom here, especially with how the taxi rides are so expensive. I love having this new freedom because it doesnt limit where i can go other then my distance requirements from being here.
   Our car is amazing and i cant wait for Him to see it because it is the first step towards us and the future together. I honestly cant believe that He helped make this car possible, because without Him i wouldnt have found it. He found the website and encouraged me to keep trying and looking when i was getting disheartened. He has always encouraged me to keep fighting and pushing forward.
   My Master is an amazing man and i love Him so much. Today He was asking me about how i felt in His arms, how i felt when i kissed Him the first time, and what i liked the most about Him. I found myself imagining Him right there beside me and my heart seriously began to ache for Him. He truly is my heart and soul and i miss Him. He is my other half and i miss Him. Describing how things feel to Him is just so hard for me to do because i cant put into words teh way He makes me feel. He is the warmth i seek when all i feel is cold. He knows just how to sooth me no matter what.
   I love Him so much and cant wait to get home to Him. It seems the days keep dragging on, but they are truly slowly winding down and down. I just hope that when i get back that im the lil one He remembers and can remember all my rules and just everything He has taught me. I know it did even through basic on a couple, especially when riding with Him because my hand went directly to His leg where it was supposed to be. I hope that i can be the lil one He wants me to be and the submissive of His dreams. I try so hard and i hope that i am what He wants and more. I have so many thoughts in my head of Him, so for now i just sit and imagine myself wrapped up in His arms as i lay here in this lonesome bed.
   Anyways, my punishment has changed. I cant believe it but i get to stand at attention and listen to Him lecture to me on how worried He was. I wish that my punishments were over with already. Although i have to admit i am happy with what i am given, as long as He doesnt put me back to under consideration. Those two words chill me to the core and i dread it as much as possible. i dont ever want to hear those words again because it means i have majorly screwed up. I would hate for that to ever happen. As long as He doesnt do that or send me to some school to fix me i will be good. That may be pure fiction, but i know there are a couple schools out there to fix and train a submissive and my only hope is He wouldnt ever send me to one because it would scare me...especially if it was like the story i read. Oh well, guess there will be a curbing to my rebellious side at some point, although im mostly a good girl as it is. I just have my moments here and there.

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