Monday, December 20, 2010

Long day but well worth the talk

   Wow, just wow.. It seems these past few days have been nothing but a whirlwind. Its so hard to believe that our time alone just the two of us at the cabin is slowly winding down. It has been a nice and welcome change of pace just the two of us together. Naturally it has been amazing because it feels like what it will be like when we move into our apartment together down by the base. That day cant come fast enough.
   This morning felt amazing waking up and it was just one of those days i couldnt even begin to dream of. We woke up and of course showered after a good bit of playful tickling and wrestling around. It is so amazing waking up to Him tickling me and just playfully waking me up instead of having to get up to my phone alarm clock and start an endless hour day. The two of us decided that for lunch we were hungry and craving Waffle House. For those that dont know what Waffle House is....i feel really sorry for you because it has such amazing food.
   We got in there and i just have to say that the food was so amazingly good and for not having it in at least 6 tasted pretty good for my taste buds. Oddly enough i didnt eat as much as i normally would have, but i think that basic and my tech school training beat that out of me(not so much beat but just kicked that habit). There are so many different things that i cant eat because my body just cant handle that much food at once anymore. Maybe its because i got used to having to eat whatever you could in under 3 minutes. Ugh i dont miss those days at all. But Waffle House was so amazing and i got a waffle, egg and cheese biscuit and hashbrowns. They were all soooo yummy...but the waffle wasnt anything like one that one of my friends cooks. She makes the kind that melts in your mouth and is just good and even Master said that her cooking was way better.
   After finishing up at Waffle House, we headed into WalMart and it was definitely an interesting trip looking for hair color. There was a good feeling of being able to talk about hair color and being able to dye my hair in a color that i like and cant believe that it is also Master's preferred hair color too. Brunettes are hot to Master and oddly enough that is the hair color i like on me the best. It seems to fit my personality. The best part though of that whole trip was the conversation we had on the way from Waffle House to WalMart and not the trip in WalMart itself.
   Thinking back to when i first got into the lifestyle, i realize that there are so many differences in the person i was then and the submissive i am today. There were so many changes made, both good and bad experiences had, and lessons learned as well. But the one thing that i remember was a comment made by a "Dom", and i use this term loosely here because im not sure after talking about things if He really is a Dom, that left me questioning my future at the time. My type of personality is one that i dont give up very easily and if you tell me that i cant do something, more then likely i will do it or at least attempt to do it ten times better to prove you wrong and to say "look at me, i can do it". At the time this guy was suggested to me by a friend to talk to and see if He could provide me some basic training as a foundation for one day when i was to find a Master because at the time i was still single and hadnt really been talking to anyone seriously.
   Taking his suggestion, i ran with it and okayed meeting his friend. Looking back now, i laugh at what happened from the meeting and all, but also find a few things creepy. Understandable this guy held a lot of power in the BDSM world from what i was told in the area of the US that i was in. Sometimes i question if that really is true, especially after meeting him in person. Creepy thing was that while i was at work, and not a lot of people knew that i worked at this McDonalds, was that he came thru my drive thru and had observed me at work and saw me and didnt say anything. He came through and didnt say one word letting me know who he was, but he observed and thought he knew everything there was about me and my personality just by judging me at work. My thought on that is, this is why im glad that Master is the way He is especially when we were talking, is you cant judge people based on how they act at work and how they act around others. The person can have up a completely fake act and put on a show for everyone around them, not showing the true them because everyone else either didnt need to know or would be harsh judges of decisions made about the lifestyle.
   Needless to say the guy checked me out before even letting me know this. The only reason i found out this bit of information was from the guys friend that had suggested him. He told me that i had been observed at work and there was a reason for secrect was because of this man's job. Yes, i understand the need for secrecy but still its kind of creepy to go and observe someone at work without even telling them.
   Anyways, he told me all about things he does and even had a paper copy of some rules and contracts and all. This was the first thing that kind of threw me through a loop and i wasnt sure how to respond. It was a lot to digest for someone who hadnt been in the lifestyle very long and still didnt know what i wanted. But he already had a lot of things laid out from what i would do when and sessions wouldnt be at his house and when we would have them and all these various things. The one thing that i hesitated about after that was the major hesitation aside from all the rules already being laid out when he didnt even know me and observing me at work, was the fact that he didnt seem to take care of himself at all. Dont get me wrong, i dont have any problem with guys that are overweight. But the other philosophy that i had was that if a Dom cant take care of himself, then how is he supposed to take care of a brand new submissive that is working at getting into the lifestyle. There is just no way for that to happen. You have to take care of yourself to be able to take care of the fresh young minds that depend on you for inspiration and guidance.
   Looking back now, i laugh and sometimes feel stupid about decisions i made when i first started looking into the lifestyle. The whole thought of the thing is that there were decisions made to where i put myself in a bad situation. Talking with Master i wonder how i made it out of a couple of them because of how bad they could have turned out. Crazy enough, but i wouldnt change any of it for all the money in the world. Out of all the other Doms that i talked to, there were so many that were fakes or just didnt know enough about the lifestyle. Master was the first one to truly take the time to get to know me and see what im really like. He didnt even have to demand submission from me, it was given freely. That is why our relationship is as special as it is and lets just say if He had even once demanded submission or that i call Him Sir or things like that, i would have moved on to the next guy. He wasnt anything like that though. He let ME choose when to submit to Him. It was on my terms and not His.
   After the talk with Master today, i also realized that there are so many Doms out there who demand instant submission from girls. How does this work??Honestly, do you think that a girl is going to be so stupid or act like a doormat and just forget the feelings she has to submit to you??Granted i know that there are several right ways and wrong ways to go about things in the BDSM lifestyle, but at the same time having a girl become a complete doormat just because you want her as a submissive or slave is completely wrong. But oh well, such is life and im just glad that im on the other end of the spectrum and found a completely amazing Master. There are times that i wonder if i will make Him proud, but i know i do when He reassures me all the time that im His and He always loves me. He disciplines me when i do wrong and also sometimes to remind of where i stand. Without Him, i honestly wouldnt be the submissive or even the person i am today. The shell of the person i used to be is so far in the past that i dont even recognize myself now. Master has taught me how to stand up and fight for myself and to fight with Him by my side. No longer do i fight on my own, but i fight with Him there by my side fighting for me every step of the way.
   Master taught me the last part of my lesson about causing Him to worry today and also gave me what i was asking for. The past few days i have felt that i was in a funk and honestly i still kind of do in a way. He spanked me with a huge paint stirrer and i do have to admit that it stings quite a bit when it hits bare skin. The ironic thing was i felt that it turned me on so much to be spanked with it that when He started fucking me with His fingers that i could barely utter the words of "Master may i cum please?" It was so amazing and felt so good when He started fingering my that i felt myself going up, but didnt quite get there when He finished and let me cum.
    After that, Master and i climbed out into the hot tub together. Oh my, it felt so good to sit in the hot tub and i felt a little bit on the brave side because we were sitting out there during daylight. Yes, it made me feel a lot naughty because we were sitting out naked in a hot tub during daylight. Before i would have been so afraid to do it, thinking someone might discover us but at this point i didnt care. It felt good and the porch is pretty screened in and the woods provide other cover too. It felt sooooo good and then while we were out there, i began rubbing Master's cock and just pleasuring Him. Before long, it led to me being fingered some more, but this time Master was playing with my ass(sorry for my language). It felt so good and i was wondering if Master was a little nervous about playing with me there earlier, but either way it felt so good. He played with me in both holes and it was like i slowly began floating. All i could care about was Master using His fingers to keep playing in both holes. It felt amazing.....oh my goodness i never thought that being fingered in the ass would feel so good but it did.
   Master and i played around for a while longer and i found myself admitting to Him that i was His slut. In all honesty i do feel like His slut because i crave Him so much. Before i never felt that i needed or craved sex so much, but i cant believe that i need it or want it as much as i do. Its almost like i cant get enough of Him. Despite Him fucking me as i asked Him to fuck me....which was another first for me. Never before have i asked Him to fuck me, but i felt that i needed Him inside of me. Anyways, Master let me cum so many times that i cant believe it. There is wonder if there will be anymore playing tonight??Wonder if we can  have one last hot tub dip before we leave in the morning??
   Dinner tonight was so amazing and good and i love just how Master cooks on the grill. He loves it when im all domestic and all and i felt so good cleaning the dishes while He went and did whatever. Honestly, i cant wait until i get to be His wife instead of fiance, but i have to have patience. It was so amazing and i love the feeling of being that little housewife that takes care of everything :) such an amazing feeling for me that i look forward to more of it. But until then i have to be patient..
   Well thats all for tonight. I wonder, if its possible to ask Master to give me another small spanking with the brush or the paddle? We havent used either one and i liked the way it made my butt feel like it was on fire and then He played with me. There is only so much pain i can take before its definitely a punishment but a little bit is definitely pleasure for me. I kind of wonder what would it be like to have a nice red butt from being spanked and then laid on my back and Master has His way with me or i get fucked in the ass while there is still heat coming off of it, like in the story that i read last night. more and more ideas float around my head the longer i think. I may get myself into more trouble then i want to tonight ;)

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