Looking over at Master sleeping on the couch, i realize just how much He has been through this morning. What a toll that must have taken on Him having to sit there and watch me hurt and not be able to fix it. All He could do was comfort me and do His best to ease the fears..
Okay, so before i go any further i have to admit that this morning i was extremely scared. Last night we went and had dinner at a restaurant here in town and all seemed normal when i went to bed, but around two this morning things started seeming evident that something wasnt right. The feelings of nausea and queasiness came on full throttle, but somehow i was able to roll over and get back to sleep. About an hour later i woke up again with a stabbing headache. In the past i had one or two like the one i had this morning, but it was bad. Combine the headache with nausea, shakiness, and feelings of passing out made for a bad combination for work.
Master woke up this morning after hearing me rustle around in the bed trying to get to a comfortable spot where the pounding in my head would quit, but it just wouldnt let up. Medicine wasnt an option either because i wouldnt have been able to keep it down long enough. So after asking Him to drive me to work, we headed out to work to talk with my flight chiefs before i could head to the emergency room. The first question after asking where the flight chief was..."are you okay?" It's a bad sign when you have three people notice that you look like the living dead when you feel like it too. After realizing my flight chiefs werent in, one of the girls from the previous shift took me outside to talk with her fllight chief. They could immediately tell something was wrong too after i let them know the symptoms i had been experiencing during the morning and they sent me on my way with Master to the emergency room.
At this point i was in tears again, because lets face it. Being sick is not something i like. I honestly hate the feeling of being so helpless and dependent on others for making you feel better. It was even worse because i could tell it bothered Master that He couldnt make anything better for me, just reassure me that things would be okay. Crying, i told Him i was scared because i had never experienced anything like this before and it scared me. Boy did it scare me to death. After finding out that my family has a history of diabetes and possibly being hypoglycemic myself, i was scared it was a very bad reaction or something to do with my sugar.
Walking into the emergency room was scary enough for me, but thankfully Master was there with me through everything. He helped give the nurses information and calm me down when i felt like my body couldnt make up its mind whether it wanted to hurt, throw up, or shake uncontrollably. There were so many times i felt on the verge of passing out, but apparently thats what happens. After a whirlwind of bloodwork, urine, a CT scan, and some GOOD pain medication....we found out all of that was for a simple migraine. There is no clue as to what made it happen, although Master thinks it was stress. Trusting Him and that it is more then likely the cause of that, i realize just how lucky i am.
Seeing the worry in Master's eyes and on His face, i realized just how worried He was. In all honesty, i know He was worried when He tells me when can get a puppy when i get out as long as i get better. We had been joking about getting a puppy, but something like this i know He had to have been really worried to say that. Knowing how much He cares and just how well He hid His worries, i realize how much He loves me. Nobody would have ever sat through all those tests, holding my hand and wiping my forehead or just calming my fears when i hear xrays and being told i have to go for a ct scan because they have to check for tumors.
There is a song that comes to mind that is sung talking about this guy and how he hopes that his wife knows how much he loved her and that he tried to show her everyday. It's days like these when im at my worst and Master can just look at me in a hospital gown and sweaty as crap and tell me i have never looked more beautiful to Him. He is the light of my life and there are no words to express just how much i love Him and just how thankful i am to have Him in my life. He is the only man that i would know that would be willing to sit in the emergency room waiting on labs and listen to His wife talking about some off the wall comments(i still dont know what those are--but apparently demerol can make you say some loopy things). Right now He has been taking care of me and getting me food and making sure im okay, but i hope that He knows id gladly return the favor.
So i guess this writing is mostly to say thank you to Master for sticking by my side in one of the worst times ive ever had. My body has never felt like that and you stuck by me through thick and thin, holding me when we finally made it home as i passed out. You watch over me and i know that i will always be safe with you. You are my world, my heart and soul and i only hope i can take care of you as well as you have taken care of me today with my feelings of still being somewhat out of it. It will be exciting to have a puppy running around here when we find one and can make it a good home for them. I love You so much Master!!!
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3------(i love You ttttttttttttttttthhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissssss