Well it all has started with school and i feel like i have been going crazy. This semester i decided to take on 18 hours and it was definitely something that i am wondering if it was right to do. It is not so much the course load, it is just more about trying to balance the time between working on all my school work and family time with Master and our family. Before when i was in school it wasn't a struggle for me because there was still time for me to work on things and i didn't do anything at work so i used that as time to work on my homework. It is just hard for me and i am definitely struggling with trying to find the right balance of everything. Taking all these hours and then i also have to throw in work to the mix. That is at least 5 to 6 hours average and 4-5 nights a week and add in travel time to and from work and it makes for long days, especially on days that i have classes. So naturally this leaves me struggling and feeling like im neglecting things with Master and the family and not paying enough attention to them. It has left me wondering how to find the balance and how to make sure they don't feel like im neglecting them or not paying enough attention to them. How does someone find the balance between 18 hours of classes, a job of working 5-6 hours, and then homework time as well and then somehow squeeze in time for sleep and U/us time?
Then to top all this confusion off there is medical issues that have decided to pop up out of the blue again. Recently i have been having feelings like i was going to pass out or getting very shaky. Usually this has been corrected by eating something with sugar and then eating in general. But lately with my job and not being able to take a break to grab a bite to eat, it has been hard. Where i work it gets so busy that i cant just stop work and take a break to eat, even though my body is telling me that it needs food of some sort, without a doctor's official diagnosis. So today i went back for a checkup from last week and the doctor thought that i was hypoglycemic based on my description of my symptoms and told me to check my levels, write them down and keep track when i eat and also anytime i feel shaky or off, and that i could change the way i eat and it may prevent it from developing into diabetes. Now today after going back, it seems things seem bleaker and scarier to me. The doctor told me today that after looking at my numbers im definitely not hypoglycemic. The news that he proceeded to tell me next was even scarier to me. It seemed that based on my lab results that i was close to being diabetic and on top of that he mentioned that because i had such a high triglyceride number my pancreas could have been damaged by it being so high. He mentioned things about diabetes and having "impaired glucose" and how it's not functioning like it should and that is the reason that i am experiencing the symptoms that i am. It is crazy to think that lately i have done everything right (for the most part) since finding out that my triglycerides were that high. It is frustrating to think that it could lead to me having diabetes because of it. Diabetes is very serious and i know like some people say it could be a death sentence. Diabetes affects a lot of things and i know that i definitely want to be around for a long time to come. It has been a crazy day and my mind is still trying to come to the possibility that in the near future i could end up diagnosed with diabetes.
So other than that, life has been pretty good to me. Master and i are saving to get our own place and as far as the lifestyle is concerned there has been a lot more play and a lot more spice added in. For Master's birthday, i stepped out of my comfort zone and ordered some new toys for Master and i to play with and delve deeper into the lifestyle. It has even been admitted to Him that i want to add to our toybox and get a few more things to play with to make things even more fun than what they already are. He has already had fun with one of His presents and needless to say i think it caused both of us GREAT pleasure. One of His new toys is this magic wand and oh boy is it magic. The other day was my first time playing with it and He teased me for a while with it. That invention is a love hate deal with me because it was so much harder to keep from cumming with it than just having Master play with me with His hands. Then because of me not following His orders, i wasn't allowed to cum so i was left on edge all day. Later that night when Master was ready to play some more, He grabbed the wand for some more fun. The funny part (and slightly embarrassing to admit here) was that when He finally let me cum due to the wand i soaked His part of the bed, floor, and His foot by squirting so much. It was crazy because i never knew that i could do that and it was crazy because i felt so amazing afterwards. Of course i went off into lala land (or subspace as people like to call it) and didn't get to pleasure Master like He should have been pleased. That was the sad part for me, but im glad that i got to fix that the next morning. So anyways, it was interesting trying out our first new toy, i wonder how the next ones will turn out when we get them in the mail tomorrow. These are what i got Master.
Nipple clamps definitely will be an interesting first for me to try and I wonder if Master will want me to try and wear them under my clothes if we go somewhere just the two of us or if they will be reserved simply for the bedroom only.
This last toy will be a nice addition and im definitely thinking that it will be interesting to be restrained with tape and know that there is no way that i can get out of it. I have never been restrained by tape and it will be a new experience for me that i definitely look forward to and cant wait for Master to try this new toy out on me.
So with all of that being said, i am hoping for some more play tonight. Master and i haven't played in a while and He had hinted earlier that there was some fun to be had tonight but im wondering what it will be. He is definitely a Master of playing with my body. A part of me is secretly hoping for some more fun with the wand (even though at the same time i hate how it makes me a moaning puddle of goo) and maybe experiencing being tied down with what we have right now. We have a good bit of ties that could work for us. Either way, i know that He will definitely enjoy playing with His lil one and reminding me that im His slave and to forget the worries of everyday life.