Monday, April 19, 2010

Punishment Nerves

   Wow, today has been between enjoyable and frustrating and all of the emotions at once. I love though being able to talk to him because no matter what's going on, he knows how to calm me down like nobody else.
       The day started out with my waking up and heading to work. I felt bad because I had passed out on him last night, not even waking up when he called me twice last night. I felt bad, but I knew I was exhausted. I headed to work, waiting a little bit to send him a good morning text message because I knew he was probably sleeping. I was surprised to receive a good morning text on my way to work though. It was amazing and sweet. I dont think he quite knows just how much he lights up my mornings when I see that text message with "Good morning lil one". I headed to work and continued to text him, but my morning kind of slowed down. I hit major traffic jam within two minutes of getting on the interstate. It seemed a tractor trailer had flipped over.
         Well the good thing was with all the traffic and everything was that I made it to work safe and sound. The bad thing was I had to go doorhang and put flyers on doors with the jerk manager again. I dont normally get so easily pissed off, but just the way he carries himself makes me mad. He fiddles with things in my car, locks my car on his own(to make sure the alarm is set I have to lock it with the key), and just walks off and leaves me when we're doorhanging when I dont know the areas we're in. I felt proud of myself this morning because I went and put flyers on the doors in the apartment buildings. I put flyers on 10 of the buildings in the time it took my manager to do like 5-6. I know I'm younger and all but he's just cracks me up. I just got pissed when we went from there to another parking lot where he had us putting flyers on cars again and I ended up getting the longer part of the parking lot done. But I sucked it up and got the job done, especially after I got a text message telling me to "Stop complaining and get the job done". I just sighed then sucked it up and dealt with it.
        Well after work, i got done and grabbed the pizzas I had ordered and headed to my moms work. It was so much fun sitting around and listening to these guys joke around with each other and all. It was so cool to watch it. I loved that my mom could have this kind of relationship with her coworkers. I hope someday to have that relationship. The fun part was when they got to telling stories about their kids and all. Of course with me sitting there, my mom had to join right in. I was just getting lashed with her left and right, but oh well I guess it was all in good fun.
          I talked with CB some and got some more advice. I think he's kind of like a third father, Mr C takes second place, and just wants to make sure that I'm doing things okay. It was cool because I showed mom a picture of him to maybe see if she would even be interested and her only response was she'd rather meet him in person. I started getting questions from CB, trying to fish out information. They were joking around but I'm sure they would check his background and all and see what they could pull up. I dont have a problem in telling them, but of course I'm going to make sure it's okay with him first. I understand that you know my private life is private but I also know that I dont want people snopping around on him and trying to figure out who he is and threatening him if harm is done to me or anything like that, even though I know I will always be happy and I truly do believe that he wont let anything bad happen to me ever. But all those questions made for an interesting conversation.
        I also felt bad because he became worried when I stopped texting him while I was eating. I didnt realize that my not texting him for a short period of time would cause him to worry. But I can see now that it would because he didnt know if I was driving and I had left them or if I was still with them and something happened. I hate making him worry, but I like that he worries about me because it means that he does care about me. I just feel horrible that I made him worry about me. I should have texted him to let him know I was eating, but I got sidetracked. I found out later this afternoon that I'm going to be punished for it. I just cant imagine what it could be. He has told me before that he has had creative ideas and I believe it with him being country. I tell myself that I'm thinking too hard on it when I imagine it being another 30 minutes in position, but I also wonder if it was serious enough for that. Then I think that it could be spankings added onto my tally, but then I think that it might be I lose my facebook privilages for a time and maybe some time in position. I just dont know really. i mean it could be any one of those or a combination of them. I do know that whatever it is, I do deserve it and that he has to teach me. I dont learn unless I'm taught.
          Well tonight I was able to hang out with my sister. I got to talk with her and to be honest she made me mad a little bit, but I also decided that I dont care what people think for sure. I told my sis I was dating and she asked basic questions like where he lived and all and she kind of got a weird look on her face when I said in the south. She then asked if I had met him and said not yet. Her response was to ask me how you can be dating if you've not even met yet. I dont let her know about the extremely personal side of my life, partially because she wouldnt understand(my other really good girl friend understands and is accepting of it and asks me about some things and how I'm doing). She immediately goes I dont approve if you havent met him to which I promptly replied I dont care and it doesnt matter. I love her opinion and all but I dont need someone to vouch for my guy. I know that with him I will be cared for and will always be happy, especially after this afternoon when he said he was going to give me his class ring. I couldnt believe he said he'd let me wear it to have something of him. I know I will for sure be putting it around my neck to keep it close to my heart. But anyways....I realized tonight that I dont need people to approve of my relationships. I'm an adult and make my own choices. Besides that I know that I'm happy and he's happy and thats all that matters. I know for sure I will be safe when I go to meet him just to be 100% sure. Which I know that he has no problem with me calling a friend to let them know I made it safe and all or anything of that nature. I love that he is so open and honest. But I came to realize that important lesson tonight thatI really dont care what others think about me and him because I'm happy.
          I cant wait for tonight. I'm anxious to get my punishment over for one, but I'm also anxious to talk to him about what I found out tonight. I still am letting it sink in that he's going to let me wear his class ring. I am shocked but I really do realize he has to really care to let me wear that especially since nobody else has worn it. I just love that idea and wonder if he would wear mine...i know it's small for him to wear but maybe it could be on a chair for him. I've never given another guy my class ring to wear or let anyone else wear it. Tonight shall be interesting. I think it is time for a nap so that I can stay up and talk with him, but not til I change my laundry out.

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