Monday, April 26, 2010

Way better then expected :)

   Wow, today turned out way better then I could have ever expected. It was just amazing and I guess sometimes life surprises you when you least expect it.
     I started out the day, heading to work, a little tired after not sleeping well for the second night in a row. For some reason I had another nightmare. It wasnt about basic or anything, but it was more of someone taking me away and hurting me. I dont remember exact details, but I know for a fact it scared me bad. I know I tossed and turned a lot because my sheets were all rumpled and messy when I woke up. But anyways...I got to work and one of the drivers had called out sick for some reason. R told me he'd need me driving today. I was ecstatic, partially because this meant no doorhanging for me today and also because I got to make some extra money in tips. It was slow this morning, but I made $12 that I wouldnt have had this morning anyways.
      I headed home after ordering some breadsticks for lunch. I am resolved and so far doing very well with sticking to my goal of eating healthy and no more fast food. I dont count the breadsticks as fast food because it would be the equivalent of me eating a biscuit or piece of bread with my salad. It was a yummy addition to my lunch and was very fresh. I love when R works because I can usually get a free pizza or breadsticks from him. I love it, but dont take advantage of it too often nor expect it. Everytime I think about getting something I'm ready to pay half price for it, but he usually give it to me for free. It was amazing. I got to talk to him about my friend who called me from basic yesterday. We both think that J wasnt as prepared for the mind games as he thought he was and that it will get better for him. I only hope that I'm prepared for the mind games that come along with it. I have been told by all my buddies that they know I can do it and he says I can do it, so I know I can, if not for myself for him. Everything I do now is no longer for me anyways, its for him.
      Well after eating my lunch, I surfed the web and talked with him some. I felt bad because he was so sad with today being two months to the day of a very sad day for him. I felt like there was nothing I could do to help him, other then be there for him to listen. i hated seeing him hurt and wish I could take it away, which I guess is what it feels like for the other person when I'm hurting. I dont think I've shown that side just yet to him, but I have a feeling it will be shown soon, especially with the recent nightmares that have triggered. I know that it's not over the person that I would be having them about, but what could have happened maybe. i can never know for sure, but it's comforting knowing that no matter what he is always a phone call or text away to calm me down.
      Anyways...on to a happier topic. I found some people who were selling phones and found out that through them I was eligible for a promotion going on right now. Well, I looked at the phone and there wasnt any way that I could do that. It was considered a smart phone and even though I liked that it was touch screen, I couldnt do it because I would have to pay extra for the data plan and I just dont want to do that. I also looked up some research and found that I am able to get out of my apartment after I turn in my notice. I'm going tomorrow to provide them my written notice for my last day of residency in the apartment being May 31st and will provide them a copy of my contract next week when I get it. I cant wait because it will be so exciting.
      After finding this, I decided to take a nap. After taking a nap I woke up and just played around until later this evening. i had decided to start my P90X workout program today and boy did it kick my butt. It was a hard workout. Today started with Chest and Back and then I did Ab Ripper X. Oh man, my arms feel like jello right now and I dont even think I could do a push up again without falling flat on my face, but I feel good knowing that I'm sticking to my plans and doing it. My constant thought is I want to do this for him and to take care of myself for him. Thats what gets me through the tough parts of the workout where I just want to stop and just be like I give up on this program. I know the program is tough, but that's why I bought it. I know it's tough and I know it works. If guys twice my size can slim down, then I know I can do it! (not that I really need to slim down, but more maintain a weight and get exercise in). I cant wait to see how things progress because I know that unlike the last times where I got part way through starting it and just stopped because it got difficult, that I will prevail this time. I cant wait.
      Well the good news in a way is that I found out that I'm leaving a day earlier. This girl who is leaving the same day as me messaged me on facebook telling me this. So, naturally I was curious and texted my recruiter. He answered me and told me that in fact I was leaving a day earlier and that they had decided to ship us all out a day in advance. I dont know whether to be happy or sad about this because it means one less day with my family and friends and my plans to play that last sunday before I leave are gone. I think I'll talk to C and see if we can have like a going away party with the softball teams and all before I leave. i cant believe how much I really am going to miss everyone, but I know it's for bigger and better things. It's amazing to me how much a positive outlook on life can change things and make them better. I love it.
       The other amazing thing and I am so glad that I got to talk to him today, was that I got to talk to my Grandpa. I dont think there is ever enough time in the world to spend on the phone with him. He amazes me because he has so many stories and he has always been there for me from day one. I told him of my dates and i hope he can come, but I know that he will never fly. In all honesty, 20+ hours is a long way for him to be driving. I think I honestly would be worried if he was driving because when I rode with him he liked driving the wrong direction on the road. I know he doesnt do it on purpose, but his driving sometimes scares me and for him to drive that long and that far worries me. However, it was so awesome talking to him about various things going on. I heard that he's redoing his entire kitchen and taking out everything. I know that i want to go spend some time with my grandpa, and wonder if possible he would want to come if I gave him enough notice, before i leave because I can honestly tell time may be short with him. I just want to enjoy it while I can, plus he's close to all the lovely tourist attractions in Orlando. I hope things work out for me to visit my grandpa.
     It makes me feel so happy to know that he is so proud of me in what I'm doing and that I'm going to be in the military. He is from the Vietnam and Korea era and hasnt told half the horror stories to my mom and aunts as he has told my cousin and me just because we are military. It's amazing and I honestly wouldnt trade my grandpa for anyone else in the world. He may be opinionated and stubborn sometimes, but I know he always loves me no matter what and always wants me to be happy no matter what I do.
      Oh well, time to relax for another day. It's going to be a long day tomorrow possibly. 

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