Monday, August 2, 2010

Five weeks away and the time is slowly passing now.....

   Wow this week is going to be one exciting week. I cant believe that around this time frame i should finally be going through the BEAST week. This is where we get to go rough it out in the combat area in the middle of nowhere and do the obstacle course and quite a few others things. Hard to believe that it's already been five weeks since i left You. I know that i am doing well so far if i have made it to this point. Wow, crazy that i have made it this far so far and am that much closer to the 8 weeks mark. Craziness.
   I hope that work isnt stressing You out too much right now. Hopefully it is keeping You busy enough that You arent going nuts missing me. I cant believe that the only way that i get to talk to You is occasional phone calls or letters. I never really wrote anyone before, but i know that Your letters will be like my lifeline to this crazy world outside. I cant believe still that the two of us are taking steps into this new world i'm going into together. I am so amazed every day that You are totally fine with me going into the military and are understanding and willing to stand by me either way. You truly are amazing and i find myself so blessed to have found You.
   By now You are probably getting anxious about the new baby too. I hope to hear updates possibly about how things are going and any new developments. I cant believe that my sis is going to have a baby and by now my sister is probably about a month, almost two months pregnant. Wow.....she's almost two months pregnant. I cant believe i'm going to be an aunt again and You're going to be an uncle. Craziness right there, but either way i'm happy and cant wait to get back to our family and just spending time with You. I miss the thrill of being at home and in Your arms and just visiting everyone and hearing about various things going on. Before too long i'll be able to do it again, but not until at least Christmas time frame.
   I wonder if You have found any new tv shows to watch yet. I know it wont be too much longer and college football will be starting back up. I know it's still a little early to start thinking about it, but im kind of sad that i wont get to watch the college games with You this year. I'll be stuck in my job training and learning various things about it. Craziness although hopefully we will be able to talk online every night when i'm in my job training. I am just sad that i cant experience watching my first UGA games with You. I truly am a UGA fan now and You created one lol. I love it though because really any team You support, i will support too. Not saying that i cant choose my own, i just dont really know the teams or anything so i support whichever ones You do.
    This week should fly by fast and before You know it, i will get to see You and be wrapped up in those arms again. I know right now that i am working my best to be the best i can be and pushing myself to what You would want me to be performing at. I love You so much and only hope to do You proud. I hope by now that i'm still qualified for Honor Grad, but only time will tell. Love you so much and cant wait to hear from You again.
love ya,
<3 lil one <3

This poem i'm including is one that reminds me of who I am. I may suffer setbacks and other things may happen, but no matter what i am a submissive woman. That doesnt mean that i'm weak, but strong because i know what i want and have found it with You. You are my Master and i belong to You in heart, soul, and mind. I may be away from You right now for some time, but believe me as soon as i get back to You, You will get the biggest hug ever and have the most enthusiastic sub. (not that i'm not enthusiastic will just be i missed being with You like crazy and will enjoy every minute with You) This poem also reminds me that You always showed me that i could do anything even if there were things put in my path. I'm going to be the best airman possible for You.
I am a submissive woman
i find pleasure, joy, and fulfillment from being submissive
to my Master in a loving relationship.
i am not weak or stupid. i am a strong woman,
with firm views and a clear concept of what i want out of my life.
i do not serve out of shame or weakness, but out of pride and strength.
i will look to my loving Master for guidance and protection, for never
will i be more complete than when He is with me.
i know that He will protect my body, my mind, and my soul
with His strength and wisdom.
He is everything to me, as i am everything to Him.
His touch awakens me and His thoughts free me.
Only in serving Him do i find complete freedom and joy…
His punishments may be harsh, but i accept them thankfully,
knowing that He has my best interests always foremost in His mind.
If He desires my body for pleasure, i shall joyfully give it to Him
and take pleasure myself from knowing that i have brought Him happiness.
However, the pleasure of the flesh is but one facet of O/our relationship.
The love, the trust and sharing, the words spoken and felt,
those are all parts of this relationship.
My body is His, and if He says i am beautiful, then i am.
No matter what i look like to others, i am beautiful in His eyes,
and because of that i hold my head high.
If He says i am His precious jewel,
then i am that…a beautiful, sparkling gem.
If He says that i am His pet, His slut, His whore, then i am that..
as wanton and dirty as He wants me to be.
My mind is His, to expand, to explore, to know only as He can.
i have no secrets from Him… for secrets are a thing that would
keep me from being more perfectly His.
Secrets would put a wall up between my Master and myself…
and i do not want walls.
His lessons are not always ones i would seek on my own,
but they are lessons He has decided that i need, and so i learn from Him.
My soul is His, as bare to His touch as ever my skin could be
when i kneel naked at His feet.
Never a moment goes by when i do not feel His presence,
be He miles away or standing over me.
If i were to ever displease Him, His displeasure would be a blow to my soul,
worse punishment than any lashes could be.
The anguish of my soul that i feel when i disappoint Him
is harder to bear than any physical anguish i feel.
i am grateful that he cares enough about me to spend
His time and energy so freely on me.
i have the easier job, to feel, to experience,
to let myself go and abandon everything to Him.
i am His pleasure and His responsibility, and He takes both seriously .
i am a submissive woman.
i am proud to call myself that, my submission is a gift that i do not give lightly,
and can only be given to the One who can appreciate that gift and return it tenfold.
Only to my Master who has that strength, will i give myself fully,
because i am strong and proud.
i am a submissive woman.

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