Sunday, April 3, 2011

What a weekend....

   Today has started out somewhat good with a couple bad mixed in. I have to admit that there is a bit of reluctance for the bad spots. It happens and gets me so flustered because i hate it when things go wrong. Now im nowhere near a perfectionist but i dont like it when things go wrong. So this morning when things went wrong, naturally my reaction was that i got flustered. Our puppy had to go to the bathroom and Master had told me she needed to go, but i didnt hear Him. She went to the bathroom in the house and i got flustered because i had missed it and we didnt want her to do that in the house. Either way it flustered me and then on top of that when i checked the clothes in the dryer some of them were dry and some werent. The shirt i thought i had put in there was nowhere to be found in either the washer or the dryer. Remembering i had put it in the side pocket i went and grabbed it. The smell of it was so bad it HAD to be thrown in the wash. This morning hasnt been the greatest, but hopefully it will get better especially since today is very significant for me and Master.
   Our anniversary is today and its hard to believe that we have been together a year already. It's been a year since we officially became a couple and the feeling is so weird. Honestly i never would have thought i would see myself in this situation. Not that its a bad thing, i guess life just had so many twists and turns for me i never really saw myself in a position to be getting married or even just in a relationship lasting this long. All my previous relationships had crashed and burned and i was starting to think the future looked bleak til Master came in my life. It started from the very beginning when we first started talking. He never asked for anything but was always there even when my life got thrown up into my face. That was what drew me into Him. My submission was never asked for like it had been before by previous people who claimed to be dominants. No offense to the Doms out there, but i have come to realize at least in my opinion that to be a true dominant you have to know that a submissive has to freely give their submission, it can be demanded. He knew that and took everything in stride.
   There has been so much that has changed in the past year that i wouldnt give up for all the money in the world. There have been a realization of who i really am and truly finding myself. Not that i didnt know myself before but with everything going on, its better that i know who i really am and what my personality is. He is the light of my life and has stuck by me through thick and thin and has even been there when i was at my worst. There are no words to express just how grateful i am for everything that He has done for me from being there for a shoulder to cry on to taking care of me when im sick. There will always be struggles from my submissive side as to when i feel that im not serving well enough or im not taking care of Him well enough. All i can do though is just remember that He wants me to be completely honest with Him no matter what. So for now i have to remember that.
   More to come later, but for now this is all that i can think about and be able to put to words. Back to enjoying our new puppy and spending time with Master on our anniversary.

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