Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Hard to believe...

   So these past few months have been the most trying in my life. There has been a lot of issues concerning my health and just dealing with issues from various family members not happy with choices made between Master and i. Needless to say in the past few months blogging has been put to the side, but only because I need to regain my health.
   It's hard to realize but its made Master and i's relationship that much stronger facing all the health concerns that i have had lately. Since about 3 months ago, i have had tests come back abnormal then suddenly normal and enzyme levels return back high and then normal again. To me things arent making very much sense medically. To be honest, everything i have been showing are pregnancy symptoms to the t but all the tests come back negative. We just wonder if maybe i am showing a false positive because my mother never showed up on a urine test and she had her period the whole time she was pregnant with me. Either way Master and i would be happy regardless if i was pregnant or not.
   My brain is beginning to wonder what is going on because it seems that i have a lot of days where i feel good, but if we go out running around for long hours on end it means that i usually end up exhausted and worn out and just feeling puky yucky. There are really no words to describe it. We are at our wits end trying to figure what is wrong with me and have just decided that it will be left to the experts. If they can find something, they will im sure of it even if it is as simple as telling me that im pregnant or that i need to have my gall bladder out. We are prepared to handle either or even if its not those. We both just want to know somehing because its been three months almost four of me battling my health---headaches to dizzyness/lightheadness to not being able to walk right balance wise to having major side pain and back pain. It's like things just cant get better for us.
   The good news is for all of this is that i have been put in an office type job for my area that allows me to sit and only work a short number of hours until we can figure out what is wrong with me. If it means im pregnant, then i stay where im at. If not, then i stay at this new place until we figure out how long it will take me to get better. Either way i honestly like this new job better because it is way better suited for my personality and just everything that i know. I deal with people on a daily basis and love helping people solve their problems (if only i could do that with my own family problems then id be golden).
    Beyond that i just have to say that i am thankful to have Master there for me in my life every step of the way. Never once have i felt alone in dealing with all these illnesses that have come up. He has never once called me a hypochondriac or said that He didnt believe what i was going through. He could always see the pain and agony on my face and was there rubbing my back and just doing whatever He could to make me comfortable. He is truly an amazing man and i am so thankful for Him as both my protector and Master. I only hope that i can return the favor one day if i need too. I love Him so much :D

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