Friday, July 15, 2011

What a feeling!!

    Last night was an amazing night and now that i think about it, i find myself wanting more. Master teased my body in ways that i never thought was possible again. It was crazy, but i love it a lot and wouldnt want it any other way.
    My body was pleased in ways that i can only think of as amazing and beautiful. He played my body in ways that i dont remember it being played since before i got sick. I found myself loving every minute of it and wanting more. Selfish a good bit, but it was an amazing feeling that made me feel like i was getting back to myself.
    My body was tormented first with a blindfold on and a little bit of ice. Normally i wouldnt really have a problem with it, but this time i felt like i needed so much more. It was so pleasurable and felt white hot at the same time from all the cold. Then He added a whip to that and it felt like my body was going to go crazy. It was as if He had a little mind reading device in His head because that was what my body was craving. Lately i have been wanting to get back to the old me and i havent had a spanking in forever. It was like i craved one and needed one to make me feel better and more secure. Well not so much secure as feeling like i was getting back to being just me and Master.
    After whipping my body, it felt like i couldnt handle anymore but Master knew me way better. My mind doesnt even remember how many times i came last night, but it felt so amazing. My future is looking much brighter and im hoping that there may be a few more spankings in my future too. There will probably be a talk with Master to find out what's on my brain because i dont want to push buttons to get the spanking that i need so badly right now. If it wasnt for my self conscious moments where i couldnt even begin to see myself doing this, i would probably grab Master's belt and ask Him to spank me with it. It's like i need a bad spanking and a good use right now to remind me that im His to do with as He wishes and that also means He can use me for His pleasure and not mine. Every pleasure that i get is for Him and not for my own pleasures. I guess that's kind of why i feel that i need to ask Him for a good spanking with the belt and for Him to just use me and to feel His cum inside me as His mark that im His property now and forever.
    Weird that i find myself thinking these thoughts, but i feel more and more that im getting back into being myself. It's not that i wasnt myself before but being sick i felt that i just wasnt me. Im not sure if maybe im getting better or im just looking forward to the idea of possibly planning for a future, but im loving not paying as much attention to being sick. Its crazy, but i hope Master likes the new change because for now unless im in major pain im going to be ignoring it until things can be tested further. Hopefully, Master and i can get back to being us because i miss how every night when i first got back was like none other. There was constant teasing and use and just exploring all sorts of new things. It's time for me to get back to doing my duties and if i slip up, accepting the consequences since i think my attitude is starting to get the better of me lately. (Shopping trips with Master=mostly fun aside when i get frustrated and could possibly end up in future spankings)
    Looking hopefully to the future and maybe Master and i can find new things to get into and learn when it comes to the lifestyle...Maybe there may be some bondage in my future or well hopefully some sort of new things??

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