Last night was absolutely amazing!!! Master and i played a little bit for the first time in a while. It felt so good for Master to be playing with my body and teasing and tormenting it as i writhed beneath His hands. For so long i have missed His touch and just how well He plays and knows my body.
After struggling with my dilemma in the shower and then deciding to take off my underware so i was just in my tshirt and shorts, i felt even more submissive. To be honest i feel bad that i havent been following this little rule for a while until now, making excuses that they rubbed too much or this or that, because i was capable of doing it. In my mind, i feel that i was just trying to get out of doing it because i felt that things between us were slipping at the time as far as Master and me because we werent really doing anything with the lifestyle anymore. He had stopped really playing with me like He used to with our toys, occasionally tying me up, didnt really enforce the rules that much anymore because He was afraid that He would hurt me or make my sickness worse. It wasnt either of our faults, but i felt that we lost sight of who we are and the lifestyle side of our relationship and got into the routine of living a vanilla life. Now we are slowly starting to get back to who we were before i got sick and when we first met.
Laying in bed with Him last night, i was sure He was going to know that i wasnt wearing any underware especially after the blog post that i did last night. It was an amazing feeling laying there in just a tshirt and shorts as i felt His hands gliding over my body. They dipped down into my shorts and He was shocked as i felt His hands move from side to side looking for the line from my underware that is usually at the top of my stomach. They found nothing and He voiced that to me. He was shocked and it led to a very hot time. Master started playing with my boobs and then pushing His fingers in and out of my pussy, playing it like a fiddle. Before long i was heated up, but He wanted me to suck Him. As i continued to suck, He grabbed my head and made it go faster. The whole time i felt myself dipping more and more into my old submissive self. He came and i felt a twinge of guilt and selfishness because i had wanted Him to fuck me. This was something that i had been denied before, but i was looking forward to it so much because i felt that my body is finally healed to where we can fully have sex again because the last time we tried it hurt.
After finishing off Master, i was flipped over onto my back and felt the most amazing feeling in the world---Master's tongue all over my pussy. He was licking and sucking and biting and nibbling and just sending my body into ecstasy. There was no better feeling and before long i heard the two words that i longed to hear "Cum now!" as He pushed me to the brink of orgasm. It felt so good and i really felt like i was starting to get back to myself.
A part of me feels selfish today because i kind of want to have sex with Master every chance i get, really every day if it's possible. There is just something about connecting with Him and just hearing that growl in my ear or hearing Him call me "His slut" or saying how wet i am and a variety of other things. I am tempted to ask that one night when the baby goes to sleep that we start playing because i crave a good long play session with spankings, being tied and teased, using our toys and Him fucking me sensless. We have already had one night where it came to the point that i was begging Him to fuck me and i long to have that night again. :) It is good to know that He is willing to do it as long as He is filling healthy and able. I feel though that i may need a spanking sometime soon because i feel that i have been bad having all these kinds of naughty thoughts and i havent stayed up to date on the laundry, especially since He hasnt had clean underware the past couple days and the dishes are stacked up in the kitchen. Oh well guess i have to wait to see what He thinks. Even if i dont get punished ofr that....im hoping for a maintenance spanking at the least. :) I wonder if i may be able to use the shower tonight? Master did say all i have to do is ask, but now the fun part is getting up the courage to ask...by using the showerhead i can help myself to make sure that i am fine enough to play later tonight because id really love to play if He's up to it ;) I guess when you read this Master....can i please, please, please use the shower head tonight?