Friday, July 19, 2013

Nothing but sunshine or so it feels that way

     So far today i feel like i have been flying and just as happy as can be. Its weird because it has been a good while since i have felt like myself and been as happy as i am now. There are still things that i personally need to work on and im getting ready to start doing so. It is going to be a slow and steady going process for some things and others it will be an immediate change. Either way i am happy to finally be getting back to the real me and the lil one that Master knew and deserves to have. Hopefully He has seen this wonderful change in me as well.
      For almost a week now Master and i have made the decision to begin to eat healthier and have cut out a lot of the normal choices that we used to make. He has given up His notorious Mtn Dews and i have given up drinking the amount of dr.pepper and other cola's that i was before. So far i have only had a few drinks of them, but it has been like half a can or half a cup instead of the usual 4-5 a day that i was drinking. It has been a slow process and one that i know cant be done overnight. For me to just automatically give up any kind of caffeinated drink will give me massive headaches. Because of my  health history, Master and i are weary of depending on a medicine to treat these type of headaches so i am trying to do it on my own and wean myself off the cola drinks. In no way am i going to give up my sweet tea because as a southern girl that is a staple and must have. In the future it may be like i had to have before, i have to get a glass of water for every glass of sweet tea that i drink and i can have sweet tea in place of a cola.
       On top of a new diet and healthy lifestyle change, Master and i have discussed the new feelings that were found within me the night before. He feels the same as me and oddly enough had the same definition as me for what a slave was. He felt that He didn't want a doormat and i didn't want to be a doormat at the time we met so He felt that i was more submissive. He read the definitions that i had posted with the post and realized that what i said was true and that i have always been a slave. My personality and mood and just actions have always been more of a slave and not submissive despite me thinking the opposite. He has embraced these new feelings and vowed to come up with a new set of rules and for us to figure out how to go from where we are at now to adapt and change to these new feelings and emotions and desires and wishes. He soothed all my fears about how He would feel once He read the journal entry and He didn't think i was lying to Him or hiding anything from Him.
      It is hard for me to wait for these changes partially because ive always been impatient, but at the same time i don't want to act bratty and push Master. It is up to Him to come up with the new set of rules and guidelines for how things will go and whether or not He wants to have a daily or every other day to do task for me to keep me on my toes. There are ideas running in my head that i'd love to share for Him to chose whether or not He keeps it. He was asked about positions and if He would like them to be used and He said it was if i wanted them. A part of me does want them, but i want them to be Master's choice and not mine. They seem very appealing to me and i like the idea of when Master and i are together that they be used (of course yet again only if He wishes). When we first started talking one of the positions was used on me by Him. He had me sit in a modified form of the kneeling position (hands behind my back instead of on my knees) and it was used for punishment, although i know there is a difference between it being used for punishment and in everyday life. A part of me is throwing ideas around of maybe waiting in position for Him once we got into the bedroom or something, but i guess that is something that i will have to do more research into to see what i'd like to ask about incorporating into our lives. There is so much that im ready to soak up and learn and it gives me things to do over the next few days.
        So after having a wonderful day im going to just try to find some material to soak up and also take care of some more job applications while im taking a break. A part of me thinks that tomorrow and sunday will be full of nothing but researching and also filling out the rest of the job applications that i have. Plus im hoping that somehow we can come up with a way for Master to get to experience one of His fantasies. Lots more interesting conversations to be had.... :D

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